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Long time, no journal.

Jul 16, 2009 - 0 comments
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I'm so bored.  Thought I'd update a bit on this website.  Nothing really new to talk about, at least nothing important that I feel like writing about.  I have been irritable lately, which is very unusual for me.  I'm becoming more aggressive, but not spiteful or malicious.  

There are two guys I am interested in.  I'm attracted to both of them, so I suppose you could say I have a crush on them.  The one is younger and the other I don't know.  I'd like to be friends, if anything, really.  But the other one that is younger (the reason why I know this) went to the same school as I did.  He has a sister that isn't attractive (I know, mean) and he played the drums.  He looks like he did when I had crush on him yeeeeaaarrrssss ago.  I don't want him to think I'm weird or a stalker, though.  Or crazy.  But he probably thinks that already considering he works at a pharmacy and I am ALWAYS there.  His name is Tyler.  He's tall, dark hair, dark eyes ... dreamy.  The same with the other guy, except I don't think as tall.  His name is Kylee.  

I don't know why I'm beginning to become interested in possibly dating.  I told Alex about it and though I've approached guys about hanging out before, I just don't feel attractive enough to even speak to them on a personal level.  I'm pretty disgusted with myself for multiple reasons, but I'm still trying to lose weight and although people say I look really good, I don't feel like it.  There is hard evidence, but you know ... the grass is always greener on the other side.  But mainly, I just don't feel like I'm pretty enough for either one of them to take interest in me.

Yes, I know what would make this easier; join Myspace or Face Book.  If you know anything about me, you know that I despise websites like that.  Myspace is a modern day internet brothel with self proclaimed photographers who use a digital camera to take pictures of themselves in the bathroom.  People just ***** themselves out.  I used to be on Myspace because my friend begged me.  I caved but after being hit on by enough gross people and just in general being bothered on a level that I just couldn't take anymore, I deleted my account.  Not only that, but it's so petty.  

Face Book is a bit better.  People generally use it for communication, and I'm all for that, but it's not perfect.  I just try to remain a non-conformist slash minimalist.  I check my email, the weather, sometimes listen to music on my computer and that's about it.  Seriously.  TV?  Don't watch it.  Anyhoo.  I'll take dating suggestions if anyone reads this stuff.

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