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My tough journey
Nov 22, 2007 01:05AM
- 2 comments
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I am a proud mother of a 4yr old little girl, and I just recently pregnant with another. I can honestly admit, I am not ready for this pregnancy and not sure I am ok with it. I am in a dillemma with myself because I have my strong views on abortion! I never thought I would even consider one! Even with this pregnancy and the situations revolving around it, I am not happy with the fact I am pregnant... I am quite depressed.
I have crazy menstral periods, therefore not 100% positive on my LMP! I do know however the last two times I had sex! (Oct. 12th, then again on October 21st!)
I went to my OB and had an ultrasound and my ges. sac measured 6 weeks and 4days... knowing these can be a little off, this still matches up with the times I had sex! Going off the 10/12 encounter!
At this time, my ob saw my ges sac that measured 6wks 4 days but did not see a fetal pole(therefore no heartbeat) and she was not sure that she even saw a yolk sac. She went on to check my HCG levels... I had one test on that Friday before and my HCG levels were 4008, the next one I had was the following Tuesday. They went up and they did double, but only within 4 days! They went up to 8000. Again two days later (that Thursday) They went up to 15000. Not quite doubled, but close!
At the time I spoke with my OB, she was concerned about this u/s she did in where she could see nothing in my sac. She was also concerned at the shape of the sac.
I proceeded to get another opinion. So today I went to another doctor, and low and behold there was a baby and a heart beat... however my ges sac only measured exactly 6 weeks. ( now remember a week ago it measured 6wks 4days) I could see if it stayed the same, but got smaller???? Also the babies heartrate was 92.5. I believe the normal is anything above 90.
On top of all this, I have been cramping pretty severe the past 3-4 weeks. I know that cramping can be normal in early pregnancy, however this does not feel normal... they are very persistent, and they have started to hurt more! I am scared, and if by any chance I am going to miscarry I dont know if I can do this waiting thing! I am going throuh alot of emotional distress, as well as physical PAIN! I am really considering a medical abortion.
For all of you that want to think bad of me, I HAD PROTECTED SEX!!! And neither times lasted long at all, and as far as I know my partner did not ejaculate! Ok the first time, it was not protected, but it lasted about one minute because he was trying to do it without a condem and I would not let that happen. He litterally was in for ONE min or less, because I wouldnt have it unprotected. Then next time it was protected, but the condem broke! He pulled out immediately after realizing it broke and as I said, did not have the chance to "finish" (ejaculate). SO I did what I could to stay protected! My depo was just up at that time, which is also odd, because as far as I was told, there is a period of time that you could not get preggers after the depo!
Basically this is what it is, I am confused on the situation. I am not feeling right with all of the persistent cramping, and the other situations. On top of it I am really not ready to have this child, not in the situation I am in with the childs father. I already have one beautiful child and her father is not around!
I would like some answers on my situation if possible please.... not on the decisions I have to make; that is my decision, but with the things that have been going on with my body and the baby!
PLEASE HELP IF YOU CAN!
I have crazy menstral periods, therefore not 100% positive on my LMP! I do know however the last two times I had sex! (Oct. 12th, then again on October 21st!)
I went to my OB and had an ultrasound and my ges. sac measured 6 weeks and 4days... knowing these can be a little off, this still matches up with the times I had sex! Going off the 10/12 encounter!
At this time, my ob saw my ges sac that measured 6wks 4 days but did not see a fetal pole(therefore no heartbeat) and she was not sure that she even saw a yolk sac. She went on to check my HCG levels... I had one test on that Friday before and my HCG levels were 4008, the next one I had was the following Tuesday. They went up and they did double, but only within 4 days! They went up to 8000. Again two days later (that Thursday) They went up to 15000. Not quite doubled, but close!
At the time I spoke with my OB, she was concerned about this u/s she did in where she could see nothing in my sac. She was also concerned at the shape of the sac.
I proceeded to get another opinion. So today I went to another doctor, and low and behold there was a baby and a heart beat... however my ges sac only measured exactly 6 weeks. ( now remember a week ago it measured 6wks 4days) I could see if it stayed the same, but got smaller???? Also the babies heartrate was 92.5. I believe the normal is anything above 90.
On top of all this, I have been cramping pretty severe the past 3-4 weeks. I know that cramping can be normal in early pregnancy, however this does not feel normal... they are very persistent, and they have started to hurt more! I am scared, and if by any chance I am going to miscarry I dont know if I can do this waiting thing! I am going throuh alot of emotional distress, as well as physical PAIN! I am really considering a medical abortion.
For all of you that want to think bad of me, I HAD PROTECTED SEX!!! And neither times lasted long at all, and as far as I know my partner did not ejaculate! Ok the first time, it was not protected, but it lasted about one minute because he was trying to do it without a condem and I would not let that happen. He litterally was in for ONE min or less, because I wouldnt have it unprotected. Then next time it was protected, but the condem broke! He pulled out immediately after realizing it broke and as I said, did not have the chance to "finish" (ejaculate). SO I did what I could to stay protected! My depo was just up at that time, which is also odd, because as far as I was told, there is a period of time that you could not get preggers after the depo!
Basically this is what it is, I am confused on the situation. I am not feeling right with all of the persistent cramping, and the other situations. On top of it I am really not ready to have this child, not in the situation I am in with the childs father. I already have one beautiful child and her father is not around!
I would like some answers on my situation if possible please.... not on the decisions I have to make; that is my decision, but with the things that have been going on with my body and the baby!
PLEASE HELP IF YOU CAN!
i have four children and have also had four miscarriages, the cramping your getting could just be the settling period where everything is nesting and fixing to you, you can even get light bleeding during this time. and yes sometimes this can be painful. the fact that your hormone level is rising is a good sign that the pregnancy is developing , my levels doubled after the second blood test then on the third they didnt and then the bleeding started. the reason you could be feeling more discomfort is because this is not your fist pregnancy, during my second pregnancy i felt everything more clearly even the first kick was felt earlier. the scan showing the sac is in the right place also rules out ectopic pregnancies. try not to second guess what could be happening and focus on whats important, you ,your health and the family you have. i wish you well. let me know how your doing.
wHEN YOU LOOK AT YOU OLDER CHILD, JUST REMEMBER GOD LOANED HER TO YOU FOR A REASON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK AND DON'T SECOND GUESS GOD...........
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