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OK.....I need to say something???  

Apr 30, 2014 - 10 comments

And again, I don't mean to offend and I don't mean anything negative, but I really do want to ask something.  I guess I don't understand the thought process that we can harm ourselves for YEARS and get better in 5/6 days?  Am I being offensive when I say "it's still early"?  I don't want to push people in the wrong direction, I only want to say what I know I needed to hear?  If that makes any sense?  I don't want to scare people, but then I also remember being very appreciative of some people telling me the truth!  I really needed to know that it was going to take 3/4 WEEKS, not days before I started feeling a difference?  
I don't know, maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I don't want to turn people off this site either?  I just think it's unrealistic to think that in 5 days, everything is going to be perfect and you can just start your life back up like this never happened?  I think about this every day of my life?  I feel like if we jump right back into that hurried, fast paced life of crap, then we're just going to end up where we were before?  I don't know, talking out of my ***!

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by jugglin, Apr 30, 2014
HI There.  I totally get what u r saying.  I think its fair under circumstances to say the physical WD's will start to subside in some cases (depending on qty, number of years, etc) after about 5 days.  Sleep takes longer, my rls lingered for quite sometime.  But yes, I think it is important for folks coming clean to understand that everybody is not the same when it comes to the physical WD's.  As for the mentals/emotional side, that is an entirely different story. I still have horrid days emotionally/mentally days at almost 5 months.
There is nothing wrong with saying it is still early, and it takes time.  I agree that as long as we are kind about it that the truth is better than letting them believe there is a magic wand and "poof" they are "better" after 5-7 days.
I think you do great when you post your comments and don't recall you ever say anything offensive or anything that would seemingly scare anybody away.  You always seem very supportive, knowledgeable and encouraging.  
I'm not sure if something recently happened that has you concerned, but I say keep supporting folks and doing what you do.  You are an inspiration to others!
Hugs to you!
J


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by motye51, Apr 30, 2014
No, I just worry b/c one of my "character defects" is open mouth insert foot disease! Lol, I sometimes wonder if maybe people are "soft" on here b/c they don't want to scare people away so they say what needs to be said in an easy tone? To get people to stay?

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by clean_in_ks, Apr 30, 2014
Moyte girl......you are doing a FANTASTIC job posting!!  Your posts are not offensive at all.  In your case, as long as you were on the subs, I think maybe I'm one of the ones that let you know it would take (at a minimum) 21 days for them to leave your system.  
We're all really different here on MH, but that's what makes it such a wonderful place.  Some people are really sweet, soft spoken cheerleaders....others don't sugar coat their comments at all.....some people are offended by blatant truths while others are really READY to hear them.  I always try to "speak the truth in love".....and sometime my comments are NOT received that way but I have no control over that.  The beauty of our forum is that we each have something to offer and give.  In our God-given ways....we each bring something different to the conversation (the thread).

I have a very similar character defect....the open mouth insert foot disease...hahaha....however, thru the years God has been softening my "edges" and helping me to accomplish what my heart's motive is without hurting another person's spirit.  

I don't think it's helpful nor realistic to expect to recover in 4 of 5 days when our brains and bodies were abused for many years.  I often use the word picture of the scales.....putting my clean time on one side and my using on the other.  I have even been told by those willing to be truthful with me that for every day I was bedridden....it would take me 3 days to that one day to expect recovery.  I HATE that long term picture.....but I think it gives me something to work towards.

I think it is really great that you journal'd about this subject.  Many people hit a rough patch after getting thru initial physical detox and are hesitant to post about it because they don't want to "discourage a newbie".......we addicts need to find a balance in ALL that we do.....and I think it's REALLY important for ALL of us, regardless of our amount of clean time, to feel free to post about how we are feeling/doing.  

Of course, no two people will recover the same.  Age, specific drug, health prior to addiction, willingness to seek help from others in recovery, living environment.......still with a "user", still keeping the addiction a secret, no aftercare...on and on.....those things ALL AFFECT how well we do.  

You just keep posting like you have been.....please keep "being yourself".....because, I for one, thoroughly enjoy and benefit from your posts.  Remember.....it takes each and every one of us.....all our little quirks and fun personality traits.

P.S.  Can I be so bold...and ask what the heck "Moyte" means or is?  LOL  Like does it rhyme with hoity-toity? ROFL
I would at least like to know how to pronounce your forum name....or get the history of it so I can know you better~


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by motye51, Apr 30, 2014
ROFL.....that is so funny, you must be seeing it as Moy te???  lol, My name is Melissa but my friends and family call me Mo (don't ask me why??) and my husbands name is Tye.  51....I don't know where the hell that came from!  
Thanks for responding, both of ya'll b/c I just wanted to make sure that there wasn't some underlying rule here that we are to "help" candy coated, to keep people coming back?  

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by VICourageous, May 01, 2014
Hi..I just caught this and I would like to chime in for a moment..First I was just taking to some one on the phone who used to be very active on here. She is Living a Great Life now, but also will be coming in & out..I asked her if she remembered you..I told her that YOU have come so far and that I trust and like everything you say out here. I have been clean for about 20 months now, and I had 3 months clean before I joined. I have gotten to be a bit..just a bit protective on this site. Meaning if I am just out here Lurking and I see who has gone in and is talking to people, I will feel safe if it is someone who has picked up a lot of info Regarding this disease and are Really working on staying clean. I am having a hard time putting this in words but, when WE stay together on this site we become a family and we Back each other up. OK..Like if I see so & so and so & so in a post working with this person, then I might not go in because I know it is being handle with the Truth and yet some Experience. A person can have a few weeks in or many years in, but it still depends on if they are going to tell it like it is..Tell what they have experienced. Some people are soft with there words, some people will not sugar coat it..And then you got some like me who just likes to Yack,,hahaha..Just kidding! Everyone likes to share certain info regarding this Addiction..Some push meetings, some have fallen so may times that they do not take any crap, some can say what they mean and to the point with just 4 words, and others like to describe this in deeper depths. I find that it takes me some time and some words to get my point across. I am one that likes to push this info around in a more Scientific way as does Clean! Many share Gods words on here too. SO in a nut shell it takes all kinds to help the one who is still suffering..We have no clue which one of us got to them the most..Some will make a remark, but other will not about who really got to them.
I sit back many times and have to bite my tongue. Everyone wants to know WHEN will it be over..Well this is a disease and it will never be over..It can go into remission with LOTS of work and Support on a Daily bases. There are many factors that play one how fast one will bounce back just like Clean said. For me I have been using & drinking for over 40 years off & on..So when I came c/t from my 3 drugs that I got hooked on for over 16 years it did take me about 6 months physically to balance back..I went through many different stages, BUT I never threw up or had to run to the bathroom every min. I prayed really hard in church with prayer group NOT to get the RLS like I did on the other opiates, before I got my Methadone prescribe for pain. BUT this time around lots of these stages where a bit different..Each drug I had taken did do some damage to the brain, body, spirit ..When we say Body and Brain we are taking about Lots of brain Chems, receptors, neurotransmitter, our Hormones & pituitary gland, the endocrine system and the nervous system, let alone are lungs and other organs and also the adrenaline glands. Now this was for me because of my type of drugs..I was also told by a Head Dr that it would take me 1-2 years for my Brain to balance back..This was most likely do to my drug use at a young age..SO It is really hard to really tell someone that they will be just fine in 2-3 days..Maybe physically some can BUT there is always the Brain adjustment that goes on..whether it be up stairs in the Brain or out in our new World.
CHANGES ARE GOING TO GO ON & ON FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES!!!
SO..YOU just keep on doing what you have been saying out here and just tell it like it was or is for YOU!! Many will be able to relate too..I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU!! I always catch what you have to say...BECAUSE..I like what you have to say..lol
Bless us ALL..This is a WE thing, not a Me, Myself & I thing..Now I picked that up on here..lol

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by nonights, May 01, 2014
Dear Mo.  The bs in my head and in this world got me here (addicted). So personally I prefer the truth even if I dont like it. I'll have to think in it and I usually come around. So please tell me the truth sugar free. I get we are all different ppl and I appreciate all the different perspectives.. I learn from others experiences so keep it coming.

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by AShellof_Me, May 01, 2014
Hi there ~
I came across your journal post, and I was intrigued. You have GREAT feedback already here.  I thought I would just add my two sense -- which is similar to nonights. Speak the truth.

There is no one in the world who can support another addict like another addict. If someone is scared away, it is probably more than likely because they are not ready. There is NO softer easier way. The life of drugs is NOT easy either right?
So, our "job" (not job-lack of better word) is to share our experience, strength, and hope... :). In this way... we help them.. but we also help ourselves to stay sober.

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by msdelight, May 01, 2014
Hi Mo!  Just wanted to chime in agree with every one. Be yourself and tell your truth. It takes a long time to get back to normal, for lack of a better word. Keep doing what you're doing. You go girl!

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by nursegirl6572, May 01, 2014
I think this is a great question/topic Mo!  I think what you often see is people trying to get desperate people through the next hour, heck, the next minute.  I'd have to say (and most would agree I'm sure) that probably the MOST frequent question we see from a brand new poster is "how LONG will the w/ds last!".  Everyone gets themselves so psyched out over it, you know?

I think being honest is important, like you said, but I also think that in those desperate moments, just TRYING to give that person hope that in a few days they won't feel like death is okay too.  It's basically trying to get them through long enough so that they CAN start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  I think everyone who posts does a nice job of doing both...being honest, yet giving that hope.  I think saying that the symptoms will start to ease after 5 days or so, with the residual symptoms lasting much longer makes perfect sense.  Of course, if we answered, "OMG, you'll be LUCKY if you feel better in 5 days, then you're going to have to endure MONTHS more of the remaining symptoms"....we'd only see skid marks of where the people ran off, lol.  I think everyone is very good at carefully wording that info, so that the poster is encouraged, but not with blinders on.

I also agree that you do a fine job responding to people, you're very "real", and honest, yet you're kind and you draw from your own recovery.  Keep doing what your doing!  I'm also glad CIK asked about your id, I always think of a coyote when I see your posts, lol.  ;0)

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by VICourageous, May 01, 2014
NG..Very well put..That is what I was trying to say plus more. It is like we need to be very gentle at first and give them hope..Oh, Sure the physical will be over in about 3-7 days and then the Mental Might come in waves..I do not usually ever tell how long it took me, or they would be running out the door and saying F-it. I can not do that or for that long.(some do ask for the truth in a more private way)..BUT if we just take them by the hand and just guide them with tender care at first and then BAM they soon will get it!! Like I said too, some people push harder then others, (exercise, work, gym) and yet some our younger and did not use to long..So there are many factors that play here, but it is their Journey and they will find the truth in their own time..We are just the Heading on that Book, and it it up to them to continue to open the book and keep on reading. They will take that book in their own way..lol
Bless Us ALL!!!

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