Texting on Ambien =D. Including fun messages such as "sorry I jummble a liitle from the dgribbldes 4sorry ttyl" and "I feel prreey good if we anvkd get evrnryo ne to diiiim really nona What do you nned?whats wronp?" It was 4:30 in the morning when it stops. I took my medicine at about 3:15 and the last message I remember sending and is coherent was at 3:52. The rest, apparently it took me about ten minutes to type each of them, and they do not make sense. I remember not being able to remember what their messages said between reading them and responding. It all seemed so difficult. It's like being really horribly stoned, only worse. Becuase you don't read back and go "oh, I managed just fine. That makes sense." It just doesn't. I like it just fine.
I went to YAP and ate flavor blast gold fish. I love them, I had three bags. Shei was sick, I think. Tom is overly persistent. He was a lot easier to be around when he didn't talk. Now he talks too much and it's just hard to do. I just listen a lot. And don't look at him. Eye contact, not my specialty.
I took a shower and such and then cleaned my room spotless- and I mean CLEANED. Not stuffed things in corners. My room is an explosion sight, then I go on a parade and it's just so clean. I mean, I rearranged my books. Changed the photos from their frames. Located and stacked my yearbooks. Hung up alllll the clothes and folded pants. Neatened shoes. Cleaned computer table. Dusted. Picked up alll jewelery. Rearranged nicknacks. Cleaned hair supplies. Dusted my tea sets. Oh, I finally parted with my box fort. Too scared of the unknown to ever sit inside it, but I still liked having it. I put all my shoe boxes in a place together. I like boxes, if you didn't guess. I like boxes and bottles and bags. I just can't get rid- I don't know why. I have probably around 50 shopping bags in my room right now, I still have about eleven boxes, about 30 bottles and cups and tea sets. Not even getting started on little containers. Storage bins. I always read about bipolars with OCD, my school therapists the only one who ever reassured me it was normal for a bipolar to have packrat tendencies. I hoard everything. I still have half my barbies, pills, other dolls, all my stuffed animals, more blankets and pillows than fit on my bed, more jewelery than I could ever even imagine wearing, enough purses for a monthly rotation, so much hair supplies that I could put one on every few strands of hair and have some left over. Makeup coming out of my ears even though I barely wear any, shampoos and conditioners because I hate getting rid of old bottles, all of it. And I've cut down considerably in the last year or two. So very much. I just wonder if I'm alone there, I guess.
I've been having chest pains, and tightening. Well. The chest pains aren't new. It's on the right side, right about where my heart would be on the left. Except you know, being the right. I'm monitoring my heartbeat and it's been hovering in the 80s-90s. I have a fast heartbeat normally, but doesn't that seem just a little wierd? A little too sped up?
My Hammie is the sweetest, he's on his back, mooshed to the side of the cage with his tail hanging out, climbing the cage sideways, yawning, being generally adorable. I just want to squeeze him! But somebody needs a bath, because they sprinkle when they tinkle. All over themselves. And their name is Ham. Btw.
I took a nap on the couch, my mom made me a sandwich! I love my mom. Then she got stung by a bee cleaning outside of my windows, leading me to feel bad, even though she should not have had her head outside my window. I told her, mom use your epipen, and brought it to her, but she didn't want to. Granted, she always seems to get stung and usually is ok I think, but these were wasps and it was bad, a few stings. She went to softball anyways. Of course, mother's luck, she has a reaction a little while in and my dad takes her to the police station, and they bring her over to the hospital. Fun night for her, really. They put it in a stability thingy and gave her an IV, a lot of shots (She was trying to avoid shots by not taking her epipen). She is ok. I still feel bad. I prolly shouldn't have teased her when I returned home.
I went to see Harry Potter 6. Yes, as she was being carted to the hospital. I know, I'm horrible. Me and steve went. We had dinner and dessert. It was yummy, I enjoy going to the movies with him. We have the same strange sense of humor, a lot of the time. We ran into Aj and Dana at the theator, we sat together. It was not as awkward as you'd think. It was fun. Aj's funny, funnier than usually around the other kids. He'd never admit it, but I know it's cause he isn't nervous or anything around Dana or us. Ok, it is more than a two and a half hour movie, and I had to pee for more than two hours of it. Dear lord was I dancing in that chair. But I couldn't bring myself to leave and miss the movie. I like harry potter, ok? It seemed worth nearly wetting myself for at the time. And it dragged on a bit, not as actiony as the others. Truth be told, I am not an actiony girl, those parts bore me, I tune out anyways. Unintentionally. So I liked the movie a lot. I was no bored. Just growingly anxious for the bathroom. It ended well past midnight. Sweet.
Tomarrow I'm hanging out with steve, and I have to drive and OT at 4:30 and 5:30 then class is at 6:30. I feel miserable already.