Jul 29, 2009
First of all let's start at the very begining. For years and years I've always loved babies, kids in general. At church I'd always be the one volenteering to do nursery. I've been a live-in nanny for 3 different families in the past 5 years. Newborn to 13 year olds I have tuns of experience with. Currently a live-in nanny for my neice & nephew...point taken I love kids.
A few years back I did minor research on donor pregnancy, but didn't dwell on it but its always been in the back of my mind. Last June I recently turned 29. I'm at a point in my life where I am thinking of where I want my life to go, who I want in it, all those major things you always want figured out. For some reason during one of my sleepless nights I decided to get online and research some more on the donor pregnancy. I got so into it. The next day, and the day after I kept going back and researching. Mind you I am 29 and I've come to the conclusion that I am ready, ready to have my own baby.
A baby that will love me unconditionaly, need me....love me. Something I can love and nurture, nurturing is a major personality trait of mine. I've always been one to help others out when the needed it. I've decided I am going to try and have a baby. I am choosing to go through a donor (Sperm Bank of California) because I do not have a partner, don't want a partner, don't want any baby daddy drama....and I can fully do this on my own.
The Sperm Bank of California is the best sperm bank that I could of chosen as said by my dr. 22,000 successful births, 49% girls. You get all the information on the donor, race, skin color, hair color, type of hair, eye color. They are all tested for everything you could think of. Some have baby photos of themselves that you can look at. It even gives you information on their health, their families health, discriptions on their likes and talents, what they do and why they chose to be a donor. The interviewer of the donor also types up a page of how the donor presented himself and his misdomeanor during the interview so you really get a feel how this person is and how if choosing this donor your child may be like.
I've got my mind pretty much set on what donor I want, and hoping that its still available by payday which is the last day of every month. I plan on ordering my vial of sperm and trying as soon as I am ovulating. My dr will insert it right into my cervix. This method is fairly cheap considering how much invirtro costs. And I don't want the possibility of having multiples, I'd freak out if I had twins or triplets, and I don't want to be the next Octo Mom. I want one healthy baby, boy or girl does not matter to me. I want to cherish him/her, love her, give him/her the best and all that I can.
I feel I am totally ready and this is going to happen no matter how many tries it takes. I have the number 4 in my mind, I thought if it I don't get pregnant by then that it wasn't meant to be? But now I'm having second thoughts and may try more times. Dr said I can do it as many times I want to try. Of course I can only do it once a month when I'm ovulating.
I do have a heart condition but it almost totally as if I didn't have it through medication that I take, some meds I will have to switch when I become pregnant, but thats no biggie. I know my other DR (tommorrow I go in to talk about this) will say its risky and it could be a high risk birth but I have my mind set. I am aware and ready to take the risks.
I feel that having a child will make my life complete, I can feel like a whole woman. I can do what I feel I was put on this earth to do. I would even adopt if it werent so expensive I just want to hold a baby in my arms and love love love. Please pray for me, I want this to be successful the first time around, I'm hoping. I told my DR that I'm trying to not get my hopes up to high, she said I have the right to, and that she believes negetivity brings negetivity. So with that being said I am going to have a baby!!! I will keep people posted. Please please pray for me. Thank you all for readying my book. I just wanted people to know what was going on in my life righ now and this is all that comsumes my mind.