Agoraphobia: Some tips

This is another post that I am copying here....it contains some tips and ideas for working through agoraphobia.  These are the very things I personally have used, and do use to beat my OWN agoraphobia.  A lot of these tips have come from therapists, fellow sufferers, and even my own personal ideas.  Hope it helps someone:



Working through agoraphobia.  The things that worked for me are similar to what barfer said in her post.  You start small and work bigger and bigger.

Example, the grocery store again...while in the midst of a very agoraphobic time, I can get there, but it's like an Olympic friggin marathon for me....and I even go as far as to plan ahead very methodically...trying to minimize my time in the store.  You all may laugh at this...b/c I kind of find it funny myself...but I'll make a 3-tiered grocery list...starting with the ABSOLUTE must-have items....like milk, diapers, etc...then the second tier will include pretty important stuff....and the third will be stuff that would be good to have, but also easily skipped if I'm having a rough go of things.

That multi-tiered list has worked well for me...b/c it keeps me focused, and if I DO end up with an issue...at least I have gotten the most important things.  Plus, it is almost a way for me to gauge my success, in a way.  There will be days where I got through not only the ENTIRE list, but also manage to pick up things that were NOT on the list whatsoever.  I felt a HUGE sense of accomplishment on those days.

That's another thing...and not to sound like a broken record b/c I say it a lot...but EVERY accomplishment is to be celebrated when trying to overcome agoraphobia.  Instead, a lot of times...we find ourselves putting onesself down.....like "OMG, how pathetic, I didn't get past the milk on the list." instead of realizing what a huge feat that was to get there, go in, get the milk and leave.  EVERY step is vital, no matter if it is one pint of milk at the store or a round-the-world trip in an air balloon.

Also, some tips for these outings.  First, the more exposure to outings, the better.  So instead of doing one bigger one once a month...try smaller ones more frequently.  When I'm in the throws of agoraphobia, I REALLY try to force myself to go out almost every day, even if it is literally to the bottom of my driveway and back.  One day I'd go to the post office, the next day, the gas station, then the grocery store, etc.  I tried to pick places that would be low maintenence, sort of "in and out" places.  Choose a less busy time of the day to go...and YOUR good time of the day...some people have great mornings, some evenings.  Try to start the outings at the "good" times and then switch it up later on.  

If there were days that my anticipatory anxiety was thru the roof, I gave myself a pass.  It's OK to do that...not every day will be a good day.  There is no sense ruminating about it....just accept that these are big challenges...and just like a physical illness...there will be days with limitations.  We are SO hard on ourselves.

Also....try to work on DEALING with a PA when it strikes....trying to sort of ride it out as long as possible...gradually increasing the time we can withstand it.  If we can fight the urge to flee, that is a huge step in beating it.  Even minimizing the reaction time from PA to fleeing is good.  If you are in the store yet again and panic hits...walk around, breathe....maybe even set your items aside and walk outside for some air.  Keep in mind that the PA will NOT hurt you...it is just emotions.  ALSO....one thing we all worry about is what other people are thinking...and you know what?  Unless you are screaming on top of your lungs or rolling around on the floor...NO ONE has a clue but US.  *Our* feelings are over sensitized...not everyone else's.  I know in theory it all sounds great...but in the middle of a PA...it IS hard not to just get the heck out NOW.  The first few times you "ride it out", you may only last 30 seconds...but each time gets easier and easier until you actually get to the point where you do NOT have to flee....when you get there...you are REALLY breaking that fleeing/agoraphobic/avoidance cycle.

Gradually build up the outings to include places slightly farther away...bascially continue to challenge yourself.  Sometimes you don't get to the challenge yourself point for quote a while.  That is OKAY.  There is no time line that needs to be followed.

My last tip for now...is TRY to be honest with as MANY people as you can....not only for support, but also so you do not have to make up excuses as to why you can't attend functions, etc.  Learn that it is okay to say "NO".  We always accept invites thinking just MAYBE we'll be okay to go that day...hoping we will...then the day gets closer and it's impossible for us.  Then you get into the guilt feelings....which only serves to make yourself feel worse.  Don't push yourself too quickly.....but don't always give in to the fear either.  If you have planned a short and simple outing and are finding the anticipatory anxiety....switch things up a bit...ask for someone to go with you....but YOU be the one to drive.  The more we make goals for ourselves and continually break them...the more WE feel defeated and keep that cycle going.  It's a vicious one for sure.

So...basically...through all of this...be kind to yourself.  It's a rough ride...it's hard to face...but it's not impossible.  Support from a group like this is priceless...where we can all share our own tips and strategies.  Pat yourself on the back EVERY time you reach a goal.  It's SO very important.