On Bridal Showers

June approaches and Hubby and I find ourselves invited to several festive events in celebration of a certain young lady's upcoming nuptials.  Aside from the wedding, there are bridal showers, BBQs, and swimming parties.  Much as I love this young lady, enough is enough!  Last Saturday found me at one of my most hated events.  The bridal shower.  The only thing worse than a bridal shower is a baby shower.  OK, I pasted on my social-event smile, brought my beautifully wrapped gift along with an extra one decided on at the last minute.  

I've rarely done a serious thing in my life, and the bride knows me as a dyed-in-the-wool smart arse.  I wouldn't want to dissapoint her at this late date, so I used the one remaining creative brain cell in my skull and put together a utilitarian gift. It's an indispensible tool for the married woman - past, present and future.  A rolling pin.  I added a spray of flowers and a bit of ribbon to the handles and attached the following poem on the roller:

After you both do wed
And all the vows are said
Will come a time
When all is not fine
And you'll use this over his head.

Thus ends my poetic career, but more importantly, my smart arse reputation remains intact.