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TrudieC is
beat from a tough day on the road
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Female, 46, Ayr - ON, member since Apr 2008
I am 46 and the mother of an on his own now 22 year old son who I love dearly. I am in my second marriage going on 12 years and very happy. I had surgery June 6/08 to remove a cluster of multiple cysts that was grapefruit sized and had bled together from my right ovar...
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Feeling Down
May 20, 2008 08:55PM
- 14 comments
I'm normally a person who keeps her emotions under control but tonight am finding myself very emotional and teary-eyed. I don't know if it is the marked increase in pain such that I can hardly walk, the percocet I am living on, the fact that I am going through what is likely my last menstrual period ever (usually the emotions are steady once it starts), the controversy on the forums, the awfulness that Jen813 is experiencing, or the disappointment I am feeling in my job.
After having my own business go down the tubes due to having a business partner who was a con man, I sold my farm and moved into a smaller home in a small town and took at job with a company that is owned in part by friends of mine. I thought I could trust them. Well, the President (who wasn't my friend) is hanging others out to dry to make himself look better, promised me an improvmeent in my renumeration but after being reminded several times has not made it so, I found out they have no sick leave or short term disability as I am preparing for surgery, and when I sent some concerns to my friend who is head of HR, he forwarded it to the people with which I had the concerns which puts me into a very difficult position. I am so disheartened.
All I want right now is to concentrate on my surgery and getting better. I've kept my employer abreast of what is going on so they can prepare for my absence. I don't need this stress right now and cannot share it with my husband. He worries too much and I can't add to that - he will just end up stressing me more. I want so badly to have my surgery as soon as possible and so look forward to the anaesthetic and forgetting for a while. I'm being such a wuss right now. I just want to cry.
After having my own business go down the tubes due to having a business partner who was a con man, I sold my farm and moved into a smaller home in a small town and took at job with a company that is owned in part by friends of mine. I thought I could trust them. Well, the President (who wasn't my friend) is hanging others out to dry to make himself look better, promised me an improvmeent in my renumeration but after being reminded several times has not made it so, I found out they have no sick leave or short term disability as I am preparing for surgery, and when I sent some concerns to my friend who is head of HR, he forwarded it to the people with which I had the concerns which puts me into a very difficult position. I am so disheartened.
All I want right now is to concentrate on my surgery and getting better. I've kept my employer abreast of what is going on so they can prepare for my absence. I don't need this stress right now and cannot share it with my husband. He worries too much and I can't add to that - he will just end up stressing me more. I want so badly to have my surgery as soon as possible and so look forward to the anaesthetic and forgetting for a while. I'm being such a wuss right now. I just want to cry.
I am sorry you are having so much to deal with. I hope you feel better soon. Marie
Hi TrudieC
I don't know you or much about your situation, I just stumbled across this..... and even though our lives are very different and the situations we are in are very different, I couldn't help but be touched by how your feeling.
All I can say is that sometimes its good to cry.
Peace
xx
I don't know you or much about your situation, I just stumbled across this..... and even though our lives are very different and the situations we are in are very different, I couldn't help but be touched by how your feeling.
All I can say is that sometimes its good to cry.
Peace
xx
Hi Trudie,
you aren,t being a wuss, with such a lot of things happening its not surprising that you are feeling overwhelmed . Its really tiring going through pain day in and day out and with the work situation on top of it all that really is enough !!!. Hope things get sorted out soon , and in the meantime try and have half an hour to yourself everyday, listening to music , having a nice bubble bath or something relaxing like that .
Take care Best wishes Angie
you aren,t being a wuss, with such a lot of things happening its not surprising that you are feeling overwhelmed . Its really tiring going through pain day in and day out and with the work situation on top of it all that really is enough !!!. Hope things get sorted out soon , and in the meantime try and have half an hour to yourself everyday, listening to music , having a nice bubble bath or something relaxing like that .
Take care Best wishes Angie
Trudy, here is a great big hug for you, you are keeping too much inside you, let it go, let go all those things you don't have any control over , put the other things aside till you feel like solveing them, and you will solve them. Cry if it makes you feel better or smile because it will soon be time for that surgery and you know that will solve one of the biggest problems you have. I don't know if you believe in God or not, but I like to think that He never gives us more than we can handle, He handles the rest for us. There is no more controversy on the forum, that has been taken care of. Hey just think of the money you will save not having to buy those monthly supplies. Jens problem is not yours to solve, she needs to get her own support team in place and move on. It is difficult to deal with Bi-Polar, I have worked with them for years, about 75% of them can learn to lead normal lives if they just accept that they need help and then take it. As far as that job goes, it either will be there when you feel better or it won't, you don't sound too happy about that position right now anyway, so that goes on the shelf. I like to say when one door shuts another one opens up, always has worked for me. I am your friend and will be here at any time you need to vent, trust me. Marty
Hey Trudie,
You've just got an awful lot on your plate right now! And I'm so sorry you're having to deal with so much...but at the risk of sounding like a "mom".. you just need to concentrate on one thing at a time, and that is your health! The other stuff will follow suit.. My dad, God rest his soul, always said "It'll work out" and you know -- it did. You're looking at such a huge picture. Try to take just little chunks at a time. When is your surgery?
And as the previous poster said-- Just have yourself a good cry !! And come talk to us as much as you want... ..
Take care of yourself,
Love,
Sandy
You've just got an awful lot on your plate right now! And I'm so sorry you're having to deal with so much...but at the risk of sounding like a "mom".. you just need to concentrate on one thing at a time, and that is your health! The other stuff will follow suit.. My dad, God rest his soul, always said "It'll work out" and you know -- it did. You're looking at such a huge picture. Try to take just little chunks at a time. When is your surgery?
And as the previous poster said-- Just have yourself a good cry !! And come talk to us as much as you want... ..
Take care of yourself,
Love,
Sandy
Trudie, I am sorry you are having to deal with these other issues. You are right, you should just be concentrating on surgery. Marty is right, life is to short to worry about that job. It does not sound like it is a very good fit for you and perhaps while you are recuperating you could explore some other possibilities. It is awful to go to a job that makes you feel uncomfortable and anxious and what your friend did was not only highly unprofessional, it wasn't very friendly. I know how hard it is to put aside so many concerns, but you have to concentrate on what you can take care of right now and not let possible future problems overwhelm you now.
You are definitely not a wuss. You should have a good cry or several. It is not easy facing that last period, especially under these circumstances. It is a transition time that is far to early for you and you have not had the appropriate number of years to expect and accept it. Take a nice bubble bath and listen to some soothing music. Try to let the percocets do their job and don't fight the loopey feeling. Pain does funny things to us Trudie and it unbalances your whole life so maybe you will feel better about some other things once you can get the pain under control. Try to have a good rest and let us know how you are feeling in the morning.
Big Hug
Jan
You are definitely not a wuss. You should have a good cry or several. It is not easy facing that last period, especially under these circumstances. It is a transition time that is far to early for you and you have not had the appropriate number of years to expect and accept it. Take a nice bubble bath and listen to some soothing music. Try to let the percocets do their job and don't fight the loopey feeling. Pain does funny things to us Trudie and it unbalances your whole life so maybe you will feel better about some other things once you can get the pain under control. Try to have a good rest and let us know how you are feeling in the morning.
Big Hug
Jan
Hi Trudie - Please know that everything will work out for you in the end...Right now your anxiety level is way up there and for good reason...All you can do is take it one step at a time...Focus on Trudie's health right now!! It always seems like everything escalates in our lives when things do not go as planned..but right now your health is your top priority...being in pain can defintely alter a persons perspective and feelings on everything else...Right before my surgery last year ( I wasnt sure if they were going to tell me I have ovca or if I needed a full hysterectomy) it turned out I needed the full hysterectomy due to endometriosis and adhesions....thankfully no cancer...anyway, my point is I needed to go on xanax to calm my nerves as I was a mess...so maybe to get you through the Dr can give you something so your mind isnt all over the place..I am sending you some positive energy...feel good, stay focused and calm..Gia :)
Oh Trudie....
I read your post and know exactly how you are feeling. 1st off, the waiting for surgery is downright terrible. I know, Im in the waiting pattern too, and Im pretty sick of it. Being in a job that is causing you major stress and emotional upheaval is also a terrible stressor, I know that too, Im kinda in the middle of a mess at my job too...Not fun, Worrying about finances and your family, well there you have it. No wonder you are a mess...lol. (Smile honey) It will get better. As all of the wonderful women before me have said, things will work out. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. My mom always says "Just give it to God, put it in his hands and he will help you". I do believe sometimes things are just too much for us to handle and we get completely overwhelmed. This is normal, you are so not a wuss....by any means.
Take a step back and focus on you right now. Your health is the most important thing. Without it, all else becomes very difficult. Your mind is racing, try to calm it. I know it's not easy, I know how being in pain all the time can just shake you to your core. I am in your corner. You will soon be closing the pain chapter in the book soon. Once your surgery is over, that is one thing behind you. Then you can focus on the incidentals....like finances, your job and all the other stressors...
You are in my prayers....and thoughts
Hang in there kid, it will get better...
Laney
I read your post and know exactly how you are feeling. 1st off, the waiting for surgery is downright terrible. I know, Im in the waiting pattern too, and Im pretty sick of it. Being in a job that is causing you major stress and emotional upheaval is also a terrible stressor, I know that too, Im kinda in the middle of a mess at my job too...Not fun, Worrying about finances and your family, well there you have it. No wonder you are a mess...lol. (Smile honey) It will get better. As all of the wonderful women before me have said, things will work out. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. My mom always says "Just give it to God, put it in his hands and he will help you". I do believe sometimes things are just too much for us to handle and we get completely overwhelmed. This is normal, you are so not a wuss....by any means.
Take a step back and focus on you right now. Your health is the most important thing. Without it, all else becomes very difficult. Your mind is racing, try to calm it. I know it's not easy, I know how being in pain all the time can just shake you to your core. I am in your corner. You will soon be closing the pain chapter in the book soon. Once your surgery is over, that is one thing behind you. Then you can focus on the incidentals....like finances, your job and all the other stressors...
You are in my prayers....and thoughts
Hang in there kid, it will get better...
Laney
Hello Trudie,
I read everyone else's comments and there isn't much more that I can add, except they gave you good advice. I do believe, too, that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but sometimes, you just want to say "I REALLY can't handle this right now, God"! One day, one step at a time when life is overwhelming, lots of prayers coming your way, let us know how you are feeling, we care.
Colleen
I read everyone else's comments and there isn't much more that I can add, except they gave you good advice. I do believe, too, that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but sometimes, you just want to say "I REALLY can't handle this right now, God"! One day, one step at a time when life is overwhelming, lots of prayers coming your way, let us know how you are feeling, we care.
Colleen
Thanks everyone. I managed to get a good sleep last night so feel a little bit better today. I so appreciate your words of encouragement. I'll do what I can to help calm myself today. You guys are the best!
Trudie,
I am sending you a big hug also! You have so much going on now, how can you not be stressed! You have every right to cry, and kick and scream and what ever will make you feel better. In no way are you being a wuss, as a person can only handle so much and you are way over your limit. I hope that things will straighten out for you. But try to remember to take care of yourself above all else. You are in my prayers.
Love Chris
I am sending you a big hug also! You have so much going on now, how can you not be stressed! You have every right to cry, and kick and scream and what ever will make you feel better. In no way are you being a wuss, as a person can only handle so much and you are way over your limit. I hope that things will straighten out for you. But try to remember to take care of yourself above all else. You are in my prayers.
Love Chris
Trudie, I also felt a lot of the feelings you are having. I am sure you just want to get this over and done with! The anxiety was the worst for me. The ride to the hospital i cried all the way. I was really emotional about everything! It wasn't because i was afraid of the surgery. It is perfectly normal to feel depressed before a major surgery. You have to remember that you will feel sooooo much better when this is over! Just try to think of the positive things in your life. Would it help to snuggle up with your adorable Sarah? I made a comment yesterday on your picture but i don't think you received it. Don't know why. But anyway i really hope you are feeling better today. I think you had said you were having a ultra sound done today?Let us know if you find anthing else out. It would really help if you could ask your Dr if he/she could give you something to ease the stress. Stress and anxiety really can bring a person down. Things will get better! Sabrina
Hi trudie, Wow, you really do have great friends here on the forum, and ditto ditto ditto. I can't come on as much as I used to because I'm back at work now, but I feel empathetic to your situation. I'm glad you mentioned you are feeling a bit better today, and thought I would tell you a short example of my feelings during my stressed-out time before the surgery. I had my hyst/ooph on 04/08... and the weather was getting nice (I live in Chicago)... I asked my hubby to set up my outdoor rocking chair... it's made of really sturdy, hard plastic pieces (about 6 of them)... and it had been sitting on my deck all winter. Well, because I'm fat, it's just the most comfortable outdoor chair for me, right? And I was so looking forward to watching my daughter play outside... and my hubby says, "I can't put that damn thing back together it's broken!" And I said, "You can't put it back together???" (he's really good at "hands on" things) and I spent the entire rest of the day crying over that stupid chair. And I mean REALLY crying! I had no idea how much that chair meant to me until I couldn't have it anymore. But it's still just a chair (or a job, or cat fights on the forum, or a hubby, use whatever you want to substitute)... my point is, "this too shall pass".
And that chair story is quite funny, in retrospect. And guess what? By the time I was back at work (5 weeks later)... my hubby took me in the yard and showed me that HE COULD PUT THE CHAIR BACK TOGETHER!!!
Isn't life just the strangest thing?
I care about you, you are a lovely woman, and I am praying for you. I'm not sure why, but you have a soft spot in my heart, since I've read your posts and messages and sorts... like a few of the other ladies on here.
Please let us all know how things are going for you, you are in my prayers.
Love,
Donna
And that chair story is quite funny, in retrospect. And guess what? By the time I was back at work (5 weeks later)... my hubby took me in the yard and showed me that HE COULD PUT THE CHAIR BACK TOGETHER!!!
Isn't life just the strangest thing?
I care about you, you are a lovely woman, and I am praying for you. I'm not sure why, but you have a soft spot in my heart, since I've read your posts and messages and sorts... like a few of the other ladies on here.
Please let us all know how things are going for you, you are in my prayers.
Love,
Donna
Dear Trudie.
Reading your post made me and Holly teary. We are so sorry for what happened to you. Lets not dwell on bad things. We know it may be difficult to forget but you should prepare yourself mentally for the surgery and be in a happy mood.
Please know, we are praying for you and thinking of you lots our fellow Canadian. Everything will be OK.
Hugs, John and Holly.
Reading your post made me and Holly teary. We are so sorry for what happened to you. Lets not dwell on bad things. We know it may be difficult to forget but you should prepare yourself mentally for the surgery and be in a happy mood.
Please know, we are praying for you and thinking of you lots our fellow Canadian. Everything will be OK.
Hugs, John and Holly.
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