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From what I put together;

Aug 17, 2009 12:00AM - 0 comments
Tags:

mother

,

late night

,

bedroom

,

Guitar

,

idiot

,

meds

,

sleep

,

Work

,

concentration

,

crying

,

Bed

,

tissues

,

blacking out

,

pill

,

Pip the Guinea Pig

,

macaroni and cheese cheese

,

Reflux

,

summer reading

,

barnes and noble

,

baby store

,

baby registry

,

shei

,

driver's ed

,

devra



My mother found me maybe around midnight? Sitting on my bedroom floor, strumming away on my guitar like an idiot. I went up to bed before eleven, I was very tired. I was told specifically to take my medicine early, so I could get some sleep for work today. I just don't have much concentration, but I played a lot it would seem. I think I was already crying when she found me, but I'll never ask. She had to convince me to get into my bed. And even once she did I couldn't stop crying, she had to climb up to my bed and sit with me for over another hour. About one fifteen I looked at the clock and couldn't understand where the time had gone, wasn't it just eleven? So I just cried harder and everytime I looked at her, it started again. It was mostly about work, the **** that work'll do to you. Like, my parents were *** MAD that I didn't go to work Sunday (I was so  tired..), but last night my mother, well apparently I was freaking out so badly that she didn't want me to go.
The only proof I didn't dream this all is the pile of tissues I steadily, and angrily tossed off the side of my bed.

This blacking out makes me so nervous, becasue half the time for all I know I could be feeding my pills to my guinea pig instead of taking them. Birth control? Important. Antidepressants? Especially important. (For another note, nor do I remember feeding my guinea pig...but I did)

But this morning she came in and woke me up and asked if I wanted to go to work? And I was like, hahaha no. That was at nine in the morning. But I couldn't really sleep after that. My day was slow. I read alot.

I ate macaroni and cheese cheese (Yes, cheese cheese), it hurt swallowing it. Not like a sore throat, but like.. I don't know. Everything went down once, kicked back up a bit, and then went back down. It's just painful and annoying. It really ruins eating for me (On second thought....).

Then we went out. Mother had some returns. We also went to the bookstore, and I found and finished my book report on the book I don't own. lol at our cleverness. Then we went to the baby store! And got shower presents for Shei. We may have gone a little overboard. She had a registry, those are so fun. You don't have to completely guess. It really rocks.

I really don't like that I come up when you google my name. Maybe I guess I shouldn't have used the same stupid name I've used for everything since I was like an infant. My bad. Still though. Suckish.

Tomarrow's my last day of driver's ed. And I go see Devra again.

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