Aug 18, 2009
Some days I feel like a million bucks and then all of a sudden out of no where I feel like a mack truck hit me.
I felt so good yesterday. It started at 2am. I woke up and could not sleep because of lost computer time. [Everyone in my house has floating set times that they get to use the computer. Because school is starting soon two people took over my time slots. I use the computer to get my mind off of pain, stress, or the blues. It works extremely well because it keeps my mind active and allows me to socialize. Without it I get irritable.] So I got up and hopped on the Internet. I stayed online until about noon. Then took a nap. I woke up with such a happy glow! I used all that positive energy to clean my entire kitchen. [One of my neighbors moved, but before they left they gave me a ton of their children's toys, furniture, plates, and a fish tank. I used to keep Beta fishes because they did not require much. The budget will not allow me to spend for pets so I could not afford a Tank Filter. But the neighbors departing gift was a fish tank fully loaded with filter and all necessities]. I cleaned the new Fish Tank and prepped it. Soon I will take the children to Pet Smart and let them pick an Eco tank to collect. That will be Family Fun. [My husband and I took them to the fair and I took them to feed geese, but that is all we've done for them all summer. I used to be able to do so much more with my children but I'm so weak now. Even at the fair my stomach was cramping and I could not walk fast. My husband walks to fast. He would have slowed for me if I said something but I get so tired of reminded everyone I'm not well. I did not want to ruin everyone's fun so I walked to fast and just endured being sick from it. They had fun and never knew. When I got home I curled up in a ball of pain]. But around sun set, after a large friendly painless bowl movement, my stomach started to cramp. I'm not on my period. It got worse and worse but I finished cleaning and went shopping. By the time I went to bed I was rocking back and forth with soreness. I had the whole heat flashes and ice cold flashes. [My doctors say age 40 is to young to have menopause]. It did calm down and I was able to sleep. It was distasteful but it was not the extreme pain I feel when I have eaten something solid. I do not eat solid food ever.
!!! IF I EAT SOMETHING SOLID THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE – IT FEELS LIKE I'M BEING IMPALED !!!