Aug 21, 2009
I am not going to make my goal. Everything else in my life I can fight and fight for until it goes my way, but losing weight I just cannot do. I get so discouraged so easily when it comes to weight. It then makes me more depressed. I've been fighting eith EI to give me my back pay, and then I get told that I would not be getting it so I had to write a great big long letter about why I deserve it. I got my boyfriend to read it and then went over to my parents to get them to make sure I didn't miss anything either, and my aunt showed up. I was in the middle of making some changes and all she says is "I don't know why you're even bothering with that they aren't going to even read all of that." I just wanted to give up right then, but I need that money so that I can get my bills paid. I keeping going when I want to give up on everything that I do, except losing weight. Why is it that I can fight and fight and fight for everything, and things usually do work out eventually, but this one thing I just give up on so easily. Why won't I fight for this? Why won't I make myself happy? Why is it so hard? I don't know what to do anymore. I have so much support but still can't do it. And that makes me hate myself. What am I hiding from? Why am I so horrible? I can't even answer any of these questions on my own, I just know I feel extremely guilty about something, I don't even know which specific thing it is...