how did it come to this?? i always had the makings of an addict... all i needed was an excuse

now i have one, after years of hearing people taking percs and trying to get them - and usually failing- i found a doc willing to prescribe, i was on small doses- 1 or 2 a day. max fast forward 1 year and the Oxy IR i take is equivelent to 32 percocets, i remember reading about people who could take 20 entering rehab and i thought god thats crazy i would never do that, i even remember reading a post someone said don't do it you will regret it and it slowly ***** you in until you are a former shell of your old self. i didnt listen thought it couldnt be me, im a mom of 2 kids, chair on the PTA living in the suburbs. My meds are all prescribed, i knew during the time with percs it was becoming a problem but i was so embarrassedto admit it.. something was stronger than me or had control of me, my life has become when i can get my drugs to if im out how long it will be until i can take it again, all day even in sleep i think about it... its ruining my life its all