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While I like to think I've grown

Aug 24, 2009 - 0 comments
Tags:

lemonade stand

,

Work

,

lemonade

,

lemons

,

driving

,

meds

,

doodling

,

faces

,

hallucinations

,

personal defects

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serrated knife

,

lemon juice

,

parents

,

dull knives

,

mannequin

,

barricade

,

bottom retainer

,

stretching

,

ice cream

,

incriminating messages

,

embarassing nerves

,

rash

,

dependency

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Addiction

,

sleepie

,

Ambien

,

popping pills

,

ice pack

,

head ache

,

heat rash

,

Two Face: Harvey Dent

,

lizard skin

,

Caladril



Mostly out of my teenage awkward stage, I'll admit I had a ton of fun making lemonade all day at work. Like, it's my new favorite stand. I slurped lemonade all day. I ate a pretzel! I don't even like pretzels. But I love making them. I cut lemons! Filled glasses. I felt so cosmopolitan. Or something. Like, I was ridiculously happy all day and I think I creeped the girl I worked with out a bit. I even drove home after. I didn't even feel tired. My feet didn't bother me. It's blissful to have a constant stream of things to do. My one downfall = I got a bit overzealous with the big serrated knife. Barely sliced my finger, like a paper cut. But lemon juice stings like a sun of a *****! I ALWAYS end up cutting myself whenever I use a big and/or serrated knife. I blame my parents. For having dull knives my whole life. First time I got out in the world and someone handed me a roll and a knife- I nearly chopped my finger off, blood and all.

You know, the only time I remember them is after I've taken my meds and I'm beginning to lose it, not retaining anymore. But I have some really odd drawings. A lot of faces, and they're strange. Haunting. I was doodling, I was not thinking about what I drew. I was as surprised as any to see them the next morning. I figured, you know, maybe I'd written my name in bubble letters or something.

Last night, I ran up the stairs and scared the living **** out of myself with where I left the mannequin! Right at the top of the stairs. Thank god I atleast faced it the other way. I barricaded myself in my room again and I think I went right to sleep. I can't recall what the hell I did with my bottom retainer. Honestly, it could be anywhere.

I've done good getting back into my stretching. When I get going, I get going. But when I fail one night, I continue to fail.

Oh, and my head has been aching in a crazy way since I got home. Closing my eyes makes it worse. Which makes me so worried about the dependency I've developed on my sleepies. It hurts again, and I'm just so sick of popping pills. Never thought I'd see the day. So I had an ice pack before.  Mother thinks it might be a heat rash, on my face. It's gotten worse, since yesterday. Very badly all of my cheek, to above my eyebrow, a bit of my chin, across most of my neck, into my ear, over my whole eye. I am basically the Two Face: Harvey Dent. I was afraid all day the customers would think I was infectious. I exagerate. It's not super noticable. Usually only some of it's super red, it's only slightly swelled, you can barely see the bumps when you look really hard. But it's very warm to the touch, and I feel like a lizard. It feels quite like my allergic reaction, a while back. But I'm not supposed to put anything on it but caladril at this point.

I think I want some ice cream!

Byyy the way it's tonight that I've got the messages and comment. I think I'm gonna grow a pair and say something back. BUT WHAAAAT?!!?!

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