Do pets mourn?

Well thank you for your wise and compassionate view of our. Beloved furry friends and recognizing their emotional pain. I just want to disagree with one tiny thing and that is about not having a forced upbeat attitude. Yes we can fool our animals and our human friends and sometimes even ourselves. Sometimes forcing an upbeat attitude will lead to an actual upbeat attitude. I say, fake it till you make it. Of course go through the grieving process but even through tears some laughter can come through too. Passing is after all an inevitable part of life. Sometimes forcing a smile is just what the doctor ordered for both humans and our furry companions. Wishing you many blessings.
Lynn

I know pets grieve. My husband was ill with metastatic cancer. His dog rarely left his side. The morning he died his beloved companion was devastated. She knew they were taking "her person" away, and he would not be coming back. A month later, she suffered a stroke. After spending the night with her on the kitchen floor, I took her to the vets. I had to make the difficult decision to put her to sleep. I then had her body cremated, and my husbands sons scattered both their father's ashes, and his beloved dog's ashes, in the mountains on their elk hunting trip.They had spent every fall there  together for years, and it gives me solace to know they are still together.  I know his dog grieved herself to death. Like people, some pets just can't stand losing a loved one, especially when they have been together for years.

When my dad passed away i inherited his cat. He never left my dads side thru his illness.  I remember when he came to live with me he would go and sit on the steps of the basement and just cry...it just killed me to hear him so i would go and sit on the steps and cry right beside him all the while petting him and telling him it was okay and we would be okay.  I believe we formed a very close bond during this time........

Thanks for the journals......I really like them and they are very informative.            sara

Wow, these are sad but incredible and beautiful stories...

Phil Zeltzman, DVM, DACVS
Pet surgeon and author of a free, weekly newsletter for true pet lovers, available at DrPhilZeltzman.com

My cat mourned when my mom passed away.  The night of her funeral he was looking all over the house for her and when he did not find her he made this sad cry.  My cat also layed down on the couch where she used to lay for days.  

All of your posts are so heart-warming and sad at the same time.  I also believe that pets definitely mourn.  It happened when I owned 2 cats (mother and daughter).  They were inseparable and the mother cat ended up developing liver cancer and we had to finally put her to sleep the day after Christmas.  I was truly heartbroken and mourned for days.  We had her for 14 years.  The daughter cat  (who was 12 at the time) would look for her mom all through the house and from that day on, her little personality changed drastically.  It was very sad.  She then ended up developing kidney failure and passed away 9 months later.  I remember having to go through that heartache again.  I vowed that I would never own another pet, because of getting attached.  They are/were my kids that I never had.

To this day I still miss them both and can cry in a heartbeat.  I’ll never forget my 2 little angels, ever.

Thank you posting your stories.  

Stay well.

I'm a sucker for a rescue cat. My cats walk on harness with us like dogs. One of our rescues, Abbey, had been kept in a kennel for so long at the shelter that she didn't even like being indoors. We were worried, but we let her have her way and be an outdoor cat. She was much happier that way, and would join us with the boys when we went for walks.

She tried so hard to teach Asha to be a hunter, but he's hopeless. She'd bring him stunned field mice and he'd toy with them; but he simply lacks the killer instinct, and they'd eventually escape. Whenever Abbey didn't join us right away for our walks the boys would call for her and she'd show up within minutes. She loved being with us and the boys while we were outside.

One day she didn't join us and we knew something had happened. The boys' walk was cut short as we went looking for her. We found her more by chance than anything, near an illegal (out of season) blind; she'd been shot. Exactly why we'd been reluctant to let her be an outdoor cat. Mom and I still can't give up that guilt. Listening to the other three cats cry and call for her every time we went out for our nightly walks tore at us for months.

growing up my husband, his parents, his brother, 2 cats and a german shepherd shared their home. the animals were all SUPER close with each other as well as with the family. when my dh turned 19 he joined the marines and had to leave home. he only got to go home for 1 or 2 weeks/year. his pets were very upset but knew he was ok. well 3 years after he left barney (the eldest of the pets and one of the cats) got sick and ended up passing away. the other 2 animals (sasha and fred) were devastated. they rarely left each others side. 1 1/2 years after that dh's brother went off to college. again the animals were upset but ok. sadly sasha fell ill and passed away. poor fred was beyond devastated. he'd lost his 2 life companions. he quit eating, quit walking around the house. he just laid on sasha's mat hugging barney's bear "crying" (it was this really sad little yowling sound) 3 weeks later fred passed away.

Thanks for this journal. It is thought-provoking indeed.

When my husband was dying of Prostate cancer he was in a hospital where in rare circumstances, they would allow a pet in. I took our dog (a little Jack Russell) in to see him with the intention of lifting his spirits a bit. I should have thought more about it, but was not prepared for the effect it would have on the dog. When we came out, our dog was suddenly depressed, even though I tried to cheer him up with his favourite games. He lay, staring at me a lot that night and was quiet.
My husband never came home from that hospital. Our dog was included in the funeral, brought into the chapel, and everything. The dog seemed ok then. And afterwards he didn't seem too bad, though I noticed he would often disappear upstairs when he wanted to rest, and I'd find him lying on the same bed my husband slept in before he was taken to the hospital that final time.
Yet otherwise he didn't appear to be grieving.
But strangely about 9 months later he was also diagnosed with a similar aggressive form of Prostate cancer.
It could be said this was co-incidence, and as he was 'entire' all of his life, and no youngster, this was an illness just waiting to happen. But basically he was very fit and well for his age, apart from suddenly developing this deadly thing.
Co-incidence or not, I always thought it was strange.

Swampy's uncle died of lung cancer (and, incidentally, did not smoke, but worked in an office where people did). He had a cat named Egypt.

After his uncle died, Swampy watched Egypt who, again and again, would go over to his uncle's chair. The cat would look up, and would look around and meow -- "where is my human? what happened?"

Shortly after that, Egypt ran away from home. He came back a few months later, but was never the same, and died on about the one year anniversary of Swampy's uncle.

Our older dog Kelley got sick and while the vet was still trying to figure out what was wrong with her that night she passed away at the foot of our bed, our other dog Holley who was young woke me up crying and crying the next morning, I didnt realize what was wrong and told her to be quiet but she just kept crying till I got up and seen what was wrong. She was very sad for a long time. Another time when I lost my dog Teddy to cancer, my husband went up to bury him and our other dog Max went with him and my husband said that after he lowered Teddy into the ground in his wooden box Max laid down on the dirt looking into the grave & put his head down on his paws all sad. I know that dogs have feelings like us and grieve  like us.

My mom has stage 3 ovarian cancer and stayed with me until her 2nd surgery and first 5 rounds of chemo) she is now back home with my dad.   I work and am gone 11.5 hours a day so my dog LOVED having mom there all day, both my dog and cat would lie in the bed with my mom.  

Now that mom is back home, I notice my dog acts strange.  She will not jump on the couch or on the bed at all - I thought something was wrong with her hips or maybe she hurt herself, but the vet didnt find anything wrong.  

Could it be that she is missing my mom?  This all started when my mom went back in the hospital for her 2nd surgery.

In the past I've definitely known my dogs to mourn for one that has died, and to look for them in vain. I have Cavalier King Charles Spaniels and they develop very close bonds with each other.

The last few times, we have given the dogs a chance to say goodbye. We have fantastic vets who come out to the house to euthanise the dog, so they pass on our laps, being fed their favourite treat. After we've said goodbye, we place them in a bed on the floor and let the others in for their farewells. Sometimes it takes them a while to realise what has happened, that is hard to witness when they go back a few times and nudge and sniff at their former friend. However it saves them a lot of heartbreak in the long run, they still seem a bit sad but they no longer look for their friend.

If at all possible, please give your animals the opportunity to say goodbye.

Nicki, Scotland

I had two dogs for years, they were constant companions, and slept on my mother's bedroom floor together every night. They were both pomeranians, and the female was two years senior to the male.  At ten years old, our female pom had a heart attack and passed away.  My mom and the rest of the family were devastated, but this pain was also evident in our male pom. He spent months wondering around the house looking for her, and his eyes were extremely sad. He became lethargic for a very long time; he did not want to do much of anything except lay by someone's side.  

In the three years since our female pom has died, he has not once returned to my mother's room; he now sleeps with me in mine.  He will never so much as wander into that room, and his personality seems remarkably altered.  It is heartbreaking.

Nicki, I wish I had thought of your suggestion at that time.

I know first hand that pets grieve.  We had to put down our 12 year old lab due to cancer, it was very agressive and he was in pain.  My 10 year old lab realized he was gone and not coming home about a day later.  As soon as she did, she refused to eat or drink.  We thought she would grieve for a few days and then snap out of it.  We were wrong.  She became very depressed, she would cry, she would not eat or drink.  When she started to become weak we jumped into action and I began to force fluids down her and force rice baby cereal into her.  I knew that if I could help her keep her strength up, she could fight the depression.  This lasted the entire weekend and I stayed home from work one day to continue the regimine.  She would wag her tail, get up to go outside, she was a little wobbly due to being weak but she looked good.  She was not dehydrated, she had food in her belly, she gave me hope.  My daughter came home from school and took her outside to go potty, she was happy to see my daughter, she wagged her tail and seemed ok.  A few minutes later, while on my way home from work, my daughter called and said that my dog had died.  When I got home, I went into the room where she was and discovered her in the spot where our 12 year old lab used to sleep.  She greived so bad over the loss of the other dog.  She did not want to live.  We are heartbroke and devistated that we lost both dogs within a 12 day period.   I knew that dogs greived, I knew that she would greive the loss of her freind - her love.  I never thought she would be so heartbroke that she could not live without him.

I too believe that animals have the abilty to mourn/grieve their companions. I had two Siberian Huskies Shaheyne (male almost 7yrs old) & Shawna (female 5yrs old). Shawna had been ill for a little over a week, one day I just noticed that she wasn't eating & looked on the thinner side. She was the heaviest of the two at a healthy 80lbs. Took her to her vet and she had lost from what they said close to 10-12lbs...they ran some blood tests. All the while these two have grown up together, I mean they were attached at the hips. They'd never go anywhere unless they were together. It was love at first sight when we brought Shawna home, they both ran to each other and gave each other licks on one anothers faces. Throughout these few weeks we got test results back, but they really didn't know what it could be. They said a few areas such as the liver stats were high and it could be an infection in her liver, so her vet prescribed antibiotics. They both go to each others vet appointments (moral support I think) and when we came back home that day I noticed Shaheyne being very protective and cautious of Shawna. Normally anytime there was food or we would hand out treats Shaheyne would make sure that he was first (and sometimes take Shawna's) in a playful way. That day and the week to come was different, he would make sure to give her enough space so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable and would eat in peace. Well, the antibiotics had seemed to work (so we thought) the vet ran some more tests, and gave me the results the next day or so. He mentioned that the liver stats seemed back to normal, but now a few other areas had changed. Shawna had gained some weight back not much a couple of lbs, and she was seeming better. Playful with Shaheyne and even started eating her own food again. I was supposed to bring Shawna back in for a urine sample analysis and some other tests on Friday because her vet and I had spoken on Monday and he recommended that we don't stress her out with all these tests every week. It was Tuesday night and as always I laid outside next to the pups for awhile. Shawna would always rest her head on my thighs, that night she licked my legs (I felt as though she was telling me that she loved me, and was thanking me for taking care of her) she ate well that day had about a total of four chicken thighs I prepared for her and drank plenty of water. Usually after spending time in the backyard with the pups Shawna would fall asleep on my legs, I would slowly move her head and she would continue to sleep. That night was different, when I got up Shawna got up too and folllowed me to the door as if she wanted to come in and sleep next to me. I almost let her, but thought it would be best if she slept in her own house next to Shaheyne. I woke up this morning (Wednesday July 14, 2010) and saw all this blood on the floor outside with Shawna laying in her dog house and Shaheyne right outside of the dog house facing each other. I paniced and followed the trail which lead all the way to the grass, it was a lot of lost blood. I thought maybe she had a difficult time going to the bathroom and something tore her rectum. When I saw the look on Shaheyne's face I knew things were headed for a bad turn. Shaheyne would not let me get close to her, I had to put him on a lease. While I was doing that I saw Shawna go from a laying down but head up position to laying down completely flat on her side helpless. I had to crawl in their house (luckly I built it big enough to do so) and then realized how much blood she lost, the whole carpet was filled with her blood. She wouldn't get up so I had to physically pick her up (@70lbs was not easy) and slowly get her out of her house. She was hardly moving and Shaheyne was howling histarically. It was a horrific sight, and when I opened her mouth to help her with her breathing I saw that her gums & tongue were completely white...I picked Shawna up by myself and carried her to my car. I called the vet and he said to go to the ER. Shawna was  losing a lot of blood, frantically driving I tried to talk Shawna through it and keep her strong. I could hear her fighting so hard to breath, almost at the ER probably a couple minutes away and my worst fear was realized at the stop light. I looked at Shawna as she looked at me and took her last breath & blood came out of her mouth. I couldn't stop crying this whole time, and when I saw that it shattered my heart. All I could think about was when I first got her and all the memories/love she gave me. She had just had her fifth birthday a couple weeks back. I was devasted, I couldn't make it in time to save her. Even now writing this post I've been crying the whole time. I got to the ER, and I already knew she had pasted, but was hoping and praying that they could save her. When the doctor came in within a matter of seconds from seeing her and said that she had past I lost it. My puppy died right infront of me and I couldn't do anything to save her, I just kept saying I should've gotten there faster. I felt so alone and helpless. They brought Shawna in so that I could say my goodbyes and all I could think about was why did she have to died that way, why did she have to be in pain? I wanted her to be an old dog and pass away peacefully. I held her in my arms and kissed the top of her nose, I can't forget the way she looked at me when she took her last breath. Almost as if she was apologizing for not being able to hang on. I lost my best friend today, and when I went home and went in the backyard I sat down right next to her dog house and cried for hrs. Shaheyne came and sat right next to me placing his head on my shoulder, I held him and sobbed harder telling him that Shawna had pasted and that she wouldn't be back any more. I hadn't eaten all day and spent hrs cleaning all the blood in the backyard, the dog house, and the car. All this time Shaheyne just sat by the garage door thinking that Shawna would appear. It crushed me. He hasn't eaten anything and won't drink his water. I haven't been able to sleep tonight that's partly why I'm writing this post and also I have Shaheyne sleeping inside tonight next to my bed because I don't want him to be alone. He won't stop howling and pacing around. The only time he is quite is when I lay down right next to him and place my head on his stomach (that's how I would always see Shawna & Shaheyne sleeping always cuddled up). I'm so sad and the thought of Shawna being gone is too new in my mind, I can only imagine what Shaheyne is feeling loosing his soul mate. Not sure what to do, but this is a very hard thing to go through. For me, as well as for Shaheyne this I know to be true.