I don't even know how to explain it. It feels like something just carving out my stomach, and I don't get full. I could just keep eating. Not like I could in middle school, but I mean, I had myself way down and not needing a thing and now I'm getting nervous.
So I went to school and all that razzmatazz. We learned about different scooping spoons in CA. And everyone seemed to know or pick up right away, that even if I had been comfortable enough to talk in the class, I wouldn't have. I felt like an idiot when I couldn't give an answer with the rest of the class. WHY DON'T I COMPREHEND SPOONS? I doubt myself, I felt I had to cook and eat all day to make up for it. Or maybe I was just excessively hungry and my defenses are down or something. Whatever. I had a bagel and yogurt for lunch. My stomach was all cramped and twisted before the bell even rang to tell me yeah, I didn't have time to eat the other half of either of them. I thought I was going to be sick though. Stomach aches have been bad again. They've been crippling in the last few days, as opposed to just funky and painful like in the last month. Twas another long school day. I still don't speak spanish. I heard the Obama speach twice, and frankly, it lacked in confrontation! I was expecting more! Yeah I know Shut up, Kristina. Let America in peace. We didn't have time to water our habitats. I think my worm died. And I tried to just keep myself writing in History. Just keep writing. I need to get my creative juices leaking again. Or something. Oozing like bood or whatever. Glad I don't have as much homework as jon! Going to be early. Went to see Devra and it's become apparent to her (quite obviously) that I am pessimistic in a scary way and not in the safest of places, plus I'm yelling at authority figures (who knew you weren't suppoed to do that?), and breaking out in allergic rashes. So we're bringing my off the Depakote. I haven't NOT been on a mood stabilizer in over a year. Well over a year, almost a year and a half.
Steve came over a while later. I wasn't doing much but laying on the couch, ill contented. We made a confetti cake. Yum, we may have cut some corners though. Meaning not wait for it to cool down/ melting the frosting/ not checking if it was done/ and even when we realized it wasn't, not putting it back but instead continuing to frost it. And then eat it. It was delicious. Talked. When he left I made spaghetti for a late snack so I won't wake up ravenged. I also changed the contact of me in steve's phone to Jesus and then texted him saying "******* praise me, *****" Woulda been bettter if he hadn't seen me steal his phone, but I mean he played along for a little bit and I got a big laugh out of it.