My brother, My son, My mother, Myself

My brother is autistic and was diagnosed around Jr. High.  He is 22 years old now.  Ten years younger than me.  He has always been the baby.  I always spoiled him as a child.  He was like my own living doll when he was born and I was determined to be the best sister/mother I could to him.  I had already moved out when he was diagnosed, but my mother suffered from guilt over his situation and so babied him even more.  He has no chores at home.  He gives my mother part of his SSI check for rent but keeps his area of the house a pig sty.  He is very high functioning.  He can cook and wash clothes.  He suffers from depression and I wonder if part of it is because he does not have any purpose in his life.  He has nothing he has to acomplish in his day, nothing that is expected of him.

My son was just diagnosed Autistic spectrum, ADHD, and ODD and I'm looking at my mothers situation vs my situation.  What am I going to do the same.  What am I going to do different. I want what is best for my son.  I want him to have a full and happy life.  I want him to experience his first kiss, his first fight, a break-up, a make-up, graduation, finding his passion, holding his children in his arms.  He has so much inside him that I can see already.  I want him to be able to share it with the world.

I'm scared but determined about the future.  I would fight the hounds of hell for my children.  I think fighting the instinct to over protect might be harder.

Keep us in you're thoughts and prayers.
Sunsine1976