What now?

I'm not even sure what is going on.  I'm finding out more and more things I wish I didn't know.  It's boring me to death. I still have no energy and the pain is still pretty bad.
I supposedly had an infection down there, yeah right, I've heard that one before, right before my surgery.  I finally found and antibiotic that doesn't rip apart my stomach and cause me to puke and sweat until I can stand it no more.  Synthetic- mold free.  I love it.
Now I have no idea what the heck my body is planning, but I know it's up to something.  Will I have more surgery for this, I sure will.  That is something that fills me with mixed feelings.  I know what is coming a hyst, again mixed feelings.   Why do I have mixed feelings I can't put my finger on them.  
I'm still learning to live with endometriosis and it's not easy, it's very hard.  People look at me differently, don't want to touch me, because they don't understand you can't catch this from me at all.  I don't understand that part.
I miss feeling normal, but do I even know what that means?  I guess I'm feeling a little lost right now.  Being lost isn't always a bad thing.  In fact sometimes when you stumble around lost good comes from it, like friends, or this place.  I wish my right side would stop feeling like someone is pinching it.