Sep 27, 2009
Today is just another day of misery,My life has been put on stop!I've always been a very active person .At 40yrs old I was still playing with my sons,running,throwing a ball,anything!Now it's all gone I'm not able to even support my children ,I've thought of suicide twice ,but my faith is to strong to do it.So I just hang on,watching life go by and try to except my condition,It's very painfull!to stay this way.I really thought after surgery that I would be able to live my life without pain .But it's the opposite,it's hard ! I try to move on,but as soon as I try to do something ,my neck or back pain takes over,and I can't finish what I start,and that gets me upset! I usually keep it to myself.I broke-up my relationship of 3 good yrs.I felt guilty that I was not able to do what couples do like dancing,walking in the park or lake,I just didn't feel right that iI would not be able to work and support them.I really LOVED her and some times if you Love someone,you have to let her go,even though it hurts..I wanted her happy, she still is in my heart.But one must move on.I've been alone since my surgery 2004.There are days of severe pain so I really don't have time to feel lonelyMy pain is my life,for now.The LORD has it's reason for my situation,I must go along and keep the Faith,I feel everything is for a reason.So I can not!will not give-up. THANK YOU for your ears. GOD BLESS US ALL!!! P.S.A.