Jun 04, 2008
What a farce yesterday was - a very unprofessional appointment with a psychiatrist who had already labelled me and put me in a box before he met me.
I was refered to a psychiatrist to confirm PTSD for which I have been recieving counselling. I came out with a tentative diagnosis of Bi-Polar Type 2 disorder. I am totally confused as my symptoms do not meet any of the diagnostic criteria.
I have had a bad few months in March and April while the PTSD (from my ex husband trying to kill me and our daughter in 2004) resurfaced. I lost my appetite, felt guilty like I was failing at everything I did, couldn't sleep, felt hopless, worthless, cried a lot, had a couple of panic attacks. But this is not normal behaviour for me. I don't have mood swings, never have really high mania or hypermania swings, Yep I impulse spend and comfort eat chocolate.
To give a little history - I had a rough childhood, dysfunctional family life, bullied at school, took an overdose at 13, and pregnant at 15... my son was born with Downs Syndrome and my life changed forever...Yep I have periods of high very high stress as David is also Autistic and I had to fight till he was 10 to get the dual diagnosis. As a young single mum with a special needs child and little support I learnt that chocolate and spending were the only comforts available to me.
When I got the dual diagnosis I fell apart I was refered to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with reactive depresion, saw me twice and said I would eb fine and I was.
My ex husband is diagnosed with Cluster B type personality - strongly Sociopath and narcasistic- he has OCD Homicide, Bi-polar, and is an alcoholic amongst other things. We had 3 years of fantastic marriage - I was the happiest I have ever been - he was a consumate actor and it was having a daughter that ought his inside outside - he tried to kill us and then later talked about the real him with all his hurrendous fantasies.
he is trying to get access or custody of our daughter and that triggered the flashbacks and the fears and the PTSD -
Now this psyhiatrist I saw yesterday says the external factors just mask a hidden mental health issue that has made it hard for em to cope with the life events... he said it is not Bi Polar but he thinks it is Bi-polar type 2-
I feel strongly that I am reacting to life issues and 3 episodes in 20 years cannot make a mental health disorder....
I am also currently undergoing investigation for possible breast cancer and waiting a core needle biopsy on Friday 13th June... again a huge stress for a single parent with little family support, a special needs child and a toddler to consider.
The psychiatrist wants to do a fullblood count and check my thyroid and pituitary gland - ( I dont have excess energy, I have thick hair, I am about 30lbs over weight - so not an overactive thyroid me thinks!! ) He is seeing me again in 2 months.
During the appointment he took 5 phone calls all wrong numbers from some crazy woman telling him he was dumped and the affair was over... he and the two mental health nurses were in hysterics about it -the whole appointment has done nothing but drag me down and make me feel boxed in.