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I've been ridiculously agitated

Sep 29, 2009 - 4 comments
Tags:

agitation

,

culinary arts

,

weight scale

,

spanish

,

Biology

,

USHistory

,

Restless leg syndrome

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narcolepsy

,

sleep

,

steve

,

biscuit

,

jon

,

kick in the pie hole

,

vague directions

,

mom

,

jabu-jabu

,

Triforce

,

zelda: Occarina of time

,

driver's ed

,

a dirty little fuck



All day long. Set off by the tiniest pin drop. I was reprimanded for not volunteering in CA. I can't find a ******* thing. I can't even work a scale. I suck at this. Spanish as usual I just didn't get it and it upsets me I can't concentrate but I tried to in Biology and History and I took a lot of detailed notes and drew a lot becasue my skin felt like it was crawling when I would stay still. I'm literally the definition of restless leg syndrome and then I try to stop moving, and suddenly burst forth into narcoleptic and just tip over asleep. Sitting up. It's so maddening. I don't know anymore. I tried to be pleasent. Steve made me a biscuit. I drew him a monkey playing bass guitar. A fat, hairy monkey. I found the Triforce. Sped forward seven years, and almost clobbered my brother, with my foot, in his face, because he kept trying to feel smart by giving me vague directions through the game and I kept saying I don't want help. I don't want help. STOP. And he wouldn't. So I'm shreiking and him, and then my mom. I was halfway through Jabu-Jabu when I haaaad to leave for DE. He refused to leave my game, and I stomped out referring to him as "a dirty little ******". I OT'd a second hour and what not. It was fine. I finally got my paper work. I'm done with driver's ed and I'm speeding through my at home hours. Not literally.I'm going to bed. I...idk. I can't seem to rumble up the energy to keep feeding myself. It's so tiring. I showered finally though. Cleaned my hair. Did not shave...

My lips are stupidly chapped. I don't even know why I can't stop gnawing the split back open and it's so dry. I'm just physically on edge. I keep licking my lips. Over and over and over. Don't do it, too late. Don't do it, too late. Don't do it, too late.

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by CaralynD, Oct 13, 2009
lol....not to laugh at what you have said but I understand 100%. I hate being angry for stupid reasons but when I'm angry about them I don't feel llike they are stupid:) I was recently diagnosed with Narcolepsy and I feel like I was the one who wrote that journal entry. I love to sleep but at the same time I hate it. Ever since I was diagnosed and put on adderall no one understands why I am always awake....I HATE SLEEP...I have slept non-stop for the past two years since my car accident that put this whole narcolepsy thing in motion. I find myself the most angry when I have not taken my pills....Are you on any pills? Maybe I'm just rambling but narcolespy is not the main problem. I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder since I was 15....look into that, it changed my life to find that out. Not to say there is anything wrong with you but the biggest part of my anger was from the constant fear of abandonment that BPD causes and then the constant abandonment because I was alwasy sleeping because of Narcolepsy:) Hope I didn't insult you at all or make it worse for Steve LOL

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by Krisiness, Oct 13, 2009
I'm not diagnosed Narcoleptic. I am diagnosed with a sleep disorder, though. I'm actually on pretty much the opposite meds as you, I take a ridiculous amount of Ambien at night. Because I'm one of those troublesome Insomniacs, have been my whole life. But I get suddenly, randomly tired and knock myself out for about ten minutes at a time. This is during times like while my pen is in motion, in the middle of sentences. While talking. Random things that usually keep a person awake. At night, I find that I can't sleep at all. Nights that I don't take my meds I'm up all night. Literally every twenty minutes or so I'm jolted wide awake. I had trouble with abandonment too, but a lot when I was little. Now I struggle more with trying to figure out; I want to be left alone, but I hate being alone. I'm also diagnosed Bipolar I. And Steve is pretty tolerant of me, considering =]

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by pookelette, Oct 13, 2009
I am hooked on xanax and methadone. I just got klonopin are they good for anxitety? Will they be stronger than the 1mg xanax? I really need th know also a feiend of mine gave me Clonazepam is it the same a klonopin?

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by Krisiness, Oct 13, 2009
While I'm not going to give you any medical advice here, since your whole comment is kinda sketchy. Klonopin is for STRONG anxiety. And you did not say what the mg was, so there's no way to know if they're stronger than 1mg Xanax.  

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