9DPO - BFN

Decided not to listen to my doctor friend and this morning took second test.  BFN. I am so sad, don't know how I'll get through the rest of the day pretending everything is fine with me.  All I want to do is cry...and cry....and cry some more. I don't know what these symptoms I'm having are.  I've been reading about approaching menopause, very similar symptoms.  Maybe that's it.  OMG please not yet!

9DPO sypmtoms are aching breasts at the sides, I was having altered sense of smell but by yesterday evening that seemed to have subsided. Cramping and pulling in abdomen but have been reading about ladies experiencing this constantly since their last miscarriage.  Could be the same thing. Slight waves of nausea and have felt a bit feverish and headachy last 2 days. Maybe coming down with flu or something.  I must admit this morning I don't feel pregnant at all.  Last time by 9DPO I felt unmistakably pregnant.

I'll continue with this journal until my monthly arrives. If I'm extremely lucky that won't be till about 9 months from now but it's looking more and more like a next week scenario.
I'm going to have a cry in the bath. See you tomorrow.