Gossip on the forum "shhhh dont tell her I told you "
Jun 06, 2008 06:18PM
- 39 comments
Gossip rears its ugly head here just like anywhere else . We are never going to be able to get rid of it all together but we sure can try to keep it at a minimum. For some people here they can brush off gossip with no problem in one ear out the other .They know who they are as people so it has little or no effect on them as a person.For others it can be very damaging and hurtful . I know even myself who can blow most of it off was very hurt by one pice of gossip because it was an attack my moral character and it was a straight out lie.
What is the propose behind gossip does it make people feel better about themselves if they tear others down . If you are the one spreading the gossip or for that matter making it up what does that say about you ?It is pretty safe to assume whoever is telling you the juicy gossip is telling others juicy gossip about you .That does not sound like a very trust worthy person to me . So next time that you think about passing on that juicy bit of news maybe stop and think about how it will effect everyone as a whole.
What is the propose behind gossip does it make people feel better about themselves if they tear others down . If you are the one spreading the gossip or for that matter making it up what does that say about you ?It is pretty safe to assume whoever is telling you the juicy gossip is telling others juicy gossip about you .That does not sound like a very trust worthy person to me . So next time that you think about passing on that juicy bit of news maybe stop and think about how it will effect everyone as a whole.
The other thing to remember is if you hear something, is it true? I will ask the person directly. Gossip almost always gets blown out of proportion.
GTMI I agree 100 % give the person the benefit of the doubt and ask the person .If you feel that you cant ask them,then don't repeat it
I agree gossip is dangerous & can damage a persons credibility! Its that small part on the human body that can speak life or death n2 a person!
I agree! This is a great journal entry avisg. As you said, some people can "blow it off" and not let it bother them while others take things like this and it is so upsetting that it can have a devastating affect.
My thoughts are that any gossip is bad. Things get said and people get hurt on a deep level and that's never good. Avisg this is an excellent journal entry and I hope people think before they speak.
You would think that us people here on this forum have more things to worry about, than gossip! I know I do.. I am sorry to hear this is going on. I have not been a wear of it myself. I do know how hurtful it is through. It is my hope that it stops! Nobody here needs that on top of trying to get and stay sober!!!
Lady
Lady
lady ,it really goes on in probably every community that has a bunch of close nit people ,I am not talking about any specific incident ,just want everyone to realize that we do have to be careful with what we say .
Lady!! Exactly right!! VERY good response!! I totally agree that we are adults and trying to get and stay clean is FAR more important than petty grade school gossip!!
If I here anyone talkin' smack i'll handle it. lol
I haven't a clue about the gossip, as I am not part of it now, nor was I that immature in the past. However, I am not surprised by your journal entry based on the many postings referring to "cliques" and the attempt for some to be accepted and confused by responces or the lack there of.
Avisg, I am sorry that someone's insensitivity has hurt you. You are a kind soul and very compassionate, and you certainly don't deserve to be treated with inuendos and complete nonsense when you try so hard to be there for so many people. No one deserves to have others talk untruths behind their back, but I guess I find it more unacceptable in this situation, when you are not only dealing with your own huge issues, but also doing your best to be there for so many in need.
I hope this is resolved soon, and more so that you ignore the nonsense and accept the many whom respect you for the incredible woman that you are, and you become more confident and stronger from this experience.
You have my respect and I appreciate all of your many contributions. Sincerely, Jeanette
Avisg, I am sorry that someone's insensitivity has hurt you. You are a kind soul and very compassionate, and you certainly don't deserve to be treated with inuendos and complete nonsense when you try so hard to be there for so many people. No one deserves to have others talk untruths behind their back, but I guess I find it more unacceptable in this situation, when you are not only dealing with your own huge issues, but also doing your best to be there for so many in need.
I hope this is resolved soon, and more so that you ignore the nonsense and accept the many whom respect you for the incredible woman that you are, and you become more confident and stronger from this experience.
You have my respect and I appreciate all of your many contributions. Sincerely, Jeanette
jeanette,
awwe Thank really I am fine .I just want all of us to think how people words could effect others .I thought it would be a good idea to just put it out there . This is a very receptive commuity I new they would understand :)
awwe Thank really I am fine .I just want all of us to think how people words could effect others .I thought it would be a good idea to just put it out there . This is a very receptive commuity I new they would understand :)
great post
I don't know anyone in this thread except "sojah" but unfounded malicious gossip hurts - a lot. That I know from bitter experience. The only ones who are fair game for gossip are politicians, not folks who are trying to help themselves.
avis, you're wonderful and i've never thought anything different of you....don't know how anyone ever could....and i'm being genuine and serious....you have always had my complete respect here....don't get on to the forum as often as i'd like to....so i obviously miss a LOT of what goes on (maybe good sometimes, huh?!)....and i haven't seen any 'gossip' type of stuff....but i can seriously see how it COULD happen and could terribly hurt someone as well as completely negatively impact this forum as a whole....thanks for the post....you're right on with this one, and it's hard for me to imagine anyone making you the brunt of any gossip....sounds ludicrous to me....but human beings being who they are, i guess it's possible....so anyway, just want you know that i've read your post, totally agree, and wish you and all here the best!!
blessings,
kim
blessings,
kim
I hate gossip! I've even seen it in the churches, only it's more insidious. People will do it in the name of "praying for someone". They will say "Pray for brother Joe, you know he struggles with drinking and is on the verge of a divorce"! It's unbelievabe. That's why I'm so careful who I confide in anymore. There's only a couple of people I think I can trust. Isn't that sad? I'd rather go to a forum where I can be annonymous than some people that are supposed to be friends. Still, even here or any site we are open to attacks and backstabing. Just have to take it all in stride and try to not let it get to us, I guess.
Good topic! We all need to be careful with how loose our tongues can get, I think.
Spreading the love, Kande! :) BTW, I sent you a pm! Did you hear about so and so? Just kidding, just kidding! Peace!
Good topic! We all need to be careful with how loose our tongues can get, I think.
Spreading the love, Kande! :) BTW, I sent you a pm! Did you hear about so and so? Just kidding, just kidding! Peace!
I wanna throw this out here.....I am and always have been the "too honest" person...LMAO
People have told me that I am too honest and maybe I am but oh well. My thought is that if you hear anything about me or if you wanna know anything about me, ASK, I am not gonna lie about it. If "ghagkg" calls and says hey I put up a new pic how do I look, do I look fat, fact is if she does, I will say, ummm sweetie, yeah, that dress just isn't for you. Yep ok so call me mean or whatever but don't call me a liar!!!
People have told me that I am too honest and maybe I am but oh well. My thought is that if you hear anything about me or if you wanna know anything about me, ASK, I am not gonna lie about it. If "ghagkg" calls and says hey I put up a new pic how do I look, do I look fat, fact is if she does, I will say, ummm sweetie, yeah, that dress just isn't for you. Yep ok so call me mean or whatever but don't call me a liar!!!
You're 100% right. People gossip about others to make themselves feel better. It's a rotton habit, I don't know why people do it in a place where you come for help. It makes no sense. I say screw them, they'll get what's coming one day!
So you didn't have a transplant,huh? Maybe aliens abducted you one night and did an exploratory surgery on you! :o) Do you feel different? Are you suddenly obsessed with UFO's? Lol, just kidding.
Yeah, I've got that lovely scar on my belly. That's from getting part of my small intestine cut out of me. Yep, I bet that surgery was almost as fun as yours. Yeah, take a picture of your scar, Kande! We can compare and see which doctor did the best job, lol. Ok, I'm getting weird now. Sorry, it comes from lack of sleep! I alway get weird when I've gone too long without sleep.
On a serious note, I'm sorry you were hurt by others on here. I think so many people have gotten burned by trolls making up stories that many are afraid to believe or trust anyone. It's sad but true.
Just hold your head up and know that you have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. Let others get nasty if they want to. What goes around, comes around usually.
Yeah, I've got that lovely scar on my belly. That's from getting part of my small intestine cut out of me. Yep, I bet that surgery was almost as fun as yours. Yeah, take a picture of your scar, Kande! We can compare and see which doctor did the best job, lol. Ok, I'm getting weird now. Sorry, it comes from lack of sleep! I alway get weird when I've gone too long without sleep.
On a serious note, I'm sorry you were hurt by others on here. I think so many people have gotten burned by trolls making up stories that many are afraid to believe or trust anyone. It's sad but true.
Just hold your head up and know that you have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. Let others get nasty if they want to. What goes around, comes around usually.
Think TRIANGLES, folks. If A&B are talking about C, and either A or B then talks to C, you've got a TRIANGLE. Deadly stuff. I -as I am sure is the case with many others- count among my friends people who talk about someone else, who ALSO happens to be a friend of mine. The moment I tell friend A what friend B said (or the other way around, B to A) I have just drawn a triangle -and started GOSSIP. Given not too much time, the two of them will start talking about ME. And around and around it goes.
If I value the friendship and trust of BOTH people, the only time I will EVER say to one what the other said to me is when it is GOOD news -and I have not been sworn to secrecy.
Think about that. When someone you trust tells you something very good that someone else said about you, you are on top of the world precisely BECAUSE it was second-hand information. I might appreciate it very much when someone tells me directly how well they feel of me (and I DO appreciate that) but when a third party tells me how much so-and-so thinks of me, that's REALLY good news. And therefore, when the news is NOT good, the damage and hurt can be, "accordingly."
So I suggest that you avoid triangles whenever possible when the news is bad. And when the news is good, then spread the word.
Folks, we're here to help each other just as we wish to be helped. Not just on the forum, but in life. So, let us do just THAT.
OK?
If I value the friendship and trust of BOTH people, the only time I will EVER say to one what the other said to me is when it is GOOD news -and I have not been sworn to secrecy.
Think about that. When someone you trust tells you something very good that someone else said about you, you are on top of the world precisely BECAUSE it was second-hand information. I might appreciate it very much when someone tells me directly how well they feel of me (and I DO appreciate that) but when a third party tells me how much so-and-so thinks of me, that's REALLY good news. And therefore, when the news is NOT good, the damage and hurt can be, "accordingly."
So I suggest that you avoid triangles whenever possible when the news is bad. And when the news is good, then spread the word.
Folks, we're here to help each other just as we wish to be helped. Not just on the forum, but in life. So, let us do just THAT.
OK?
LOL LOL LOL!!! Oh, don't I love it!!! I am still laughing!! Thanks!!!
JS ,very nice :)
JSGeare : That laugh wasn't for your post friend!! LOL!! See it almost happened here too.
I agree with you 100%!! Sorry about the laugh but at least this did make me laugh!!
I agree with you 100%!! Sorry about the laugh but at least this did make me laugh!!
Thanks April!!! That was too good!! Now I know who to go to for a good laugh!! I can't stop and it really feels good to laugh this hard after all the depressing stuff. LOL!! Still going at it, rolling now....
AVISG....LMAO...I didn't think a post like this would actually be funny to a point but you know us ladies....LMAO
To all : I want to join your forum!! You guys are great!! I feel 10 years younger already!! Thanks and yes, I am still laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMAO Kande!! That is awesome! It feels sooooo good to laugh! I know personally I have really needed it lately!!
So April2 will not feel bad. I had said someone said, "I did not have a transplant." That is what she is talking about.
BTW...I did have a transplant...ouch!! I rembember very well!! Thanks to all!!
BTW...I did have a transplant...ouch!! I rembember very well!! Thanks to all!!
To : confused456
OH girl...
You have no idea how good!! I appreciate you!!
Great Big Hugs,
Kande
OH girl...
You have no idea how good!! I appreciate you!!
Great Big Hugs,
Kande
Oi.
Sorry, I was talking about my journal I wrote about how much of a stress reliever it is to get good and silly sometimes!
April...it's ok you didn't offend us! We are humans too....the majority of us (not all) are addicted to substances like prescription narcotics (i was/am) some coke, meth, heroine, etc... But we do not get offended at stuff like that at all we even talk about going out for a drink....don't sweat it. We are fun....if you go to our social community and read our posts you'll see how fun & silly we are! -- JoAnn
Whew, thanks JoAnn! :) I am humbled by your graciousness. And now I can truly go to bed with a clear conscience.
BTW, I had to ask my teenage daughter what LMAO meant. It's pretty bad that she knew! Since I don't really cuss (yeah, I'm a goody goody) can I say LMTO (Laughing my tushie off)??
You all sound like a great bunch of ladies! Thanks for letting me join your thread here!
Kande, are you still out there or are you still rolling on the floor? Hey, I think I know that one! It's ROFL right? I think I'm getting the hang of this computer lingo. Lol, sorry, old lady here. :) Glad to have met you all!
April
BTW, I had to ask my teenage daughter what LMAO meant. It's pretty bad that she knew! Since I don't really cuss (yeah, I'm a goody goody) can I say LMTO (Laughing my tushie off)??
You all sound like a great bunch of ladies! Thanks for letting me join your thread here!
Kande, are you still out there or are you still rolling on the floor? Hey, I think I know that one! It's ROFL right? I think I'm getting the hang of this computer lingo. Lol, sorry, old lady here. :) Glad to have met you all!
April
I removed the margarita post ,just to be safe for some members that alcohol may be an issue with :) do harm done
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