It's been awhile since I've been on here

I got a year clean and a week after that I relasped. I was so mad at myself. Now I have 5months clean, well, what the clinic calls clean. I am on the methodone treatment plan. Its another addiction, I agree, but it is controled. Not that I am doing the right thing or the wrong thing. I'm just doing what is working for me right now, at this place in my life. I think some people are stronger then others. and for me, I depend on medicine to make me feel normal.  I will be on here more often now. and more serious about recovery and helping others with their recovery. I just need to get another year under my belt, and do all 12 steps. I keep making it to the 4th step, and then I stop calling my sponser and I start thinking "i don't need the 12 steps" " i'll just do it my way, I know I'll be okay" . Yeah, right!  I've learned NOT to listen to that ego of mind, and to call a couple people to see what I should do , or if I am thinking right or wrong. I have to! My Best thinking got me where I'm at today.
So I'm going to end this entry with the fact that i WOULD  Love to meet and make some good friends on here.

Hugs and Love
SkyDove