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suicide--does this black hole ever end?
Oct 27, 2009 12:00AM
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I'm emotionally and physical exhausted right now. This week has already been far to long when it is only 2:08 on a tuesday morning. I am so tired of no sleep and f*cking swing bipolar moods and money issues and school issues and f*ucking everything issues. I wish I had a razor in my reach right now. I am just so tired. I feel so un motivated and so hopeless...So lost in this mess called my life...when does it get better...or does it...when do i get back to a normal state? When does the f*cking suffering stop? Why can't I get through this? WHY!!! Why can't I bring myself to trust God! Oh wait I f*cking no why because the more I tried to trust the more f*cked up my life seems to get. What do i do? People keep telling me God puts me through this for a reason but this is not right! It isn't I am two young to have been through as much as I have in my lifetime. This is too much for me! Does this black hole ever end
Bipolar I Craziness
Bipolar I Craziness
At one point I found myself asking God "why me?" and "this is not fair". I started to have thoughts of hurting other people who I felt did wrong to me. I ended up driving to Target and right next door was a Seventh Day Adventist Christian bookstore and grocery store. I went in and wasn't sure where to start or what book to get. I walked up and down many aisles and I bought a copy of "Managing Your Emotions Instead of Your Emotions Managing You" by Joyce Meyer and "Re-discovering Faith" by Myles Monroe. I can tell you that these books really helped me alot. I think they would help you right now. You can get them online. If you can't buy them you can have mine. Just hit me up!
Yes, it does end. Even flowers drow through dirt, dear. It will get better and you'll be an empowered, strong, happy, and fulfilled woman if you just hang in there and strive to be the best you can be even if you are in the hole for the time being.
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