Oct 31, 2009
I've noticed that everyone encourages writing a journal and I'm a big fan of giving back once you have some recovery time, so I'm going to try to start here, although I haven't really started my journey yet. I've been taking tramadol for probably about 3 years (usually about 5-6 50mgs per day, although sometimes higher or lower). I realize now that it started not long after I quit smoking and drinking. Hmm...addictive personality, huh? I did have real pain...disc herniation L4/L5, but I believe that pain is much better now and would be better if I stop tramadol. I've recently been diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroiditis in addition to adrenal fatigue. I wonder if the adrenal fatigue is related to my abuse of tramadol? I've heard that this happens.
Anyway, I have begun a taper and since I've only got a limited amount, I've stuck to it to some degree. I should be having two a day, but have had three. Far better than before though. Tomorrow, I will go to 1 Extended Release (100mg). Thursday I meet with an addiction specialist. I also take klonopin at night, prescribed for night terrors. I was tapering down on that (have gone from 2 to 1 mg), but I will wait until this is over. I also would like to get off my Anti-Depressant. I have low-lying depression and I don't think I need it, but if so, I'll stay on something.
In the Spring, my husband and I want to try and get pregnant. I want my body to be a safe place for a baby and I want my mind capable of raising a baby. I know I am capable. I'm thinking of returning to AA, which I experimented with before. I like the program and grew up with parents in recovery. I'm also glad to have this group and to know I'm not alone in the tramadol addiction. It's a really crazy drug and I think the SSRI is the real danger- I didn't even realize that's what was in it! I've been through SSRI withdrawal and it's hell in itself.
Anyway, just thought I'd start this journaling process. I expect to go tramadol free on November 5th, 2009.
I'll try to keep writing!