Same old morning again

As usual, the boys are awake early. I shout downstairs to get his pills, Methylphenidate15mgs+Respiredone 1mg. These are his morning pills, they usually start to work until about 10.20am/11.00am then he has another dose at 12.00 and another at 4.00pm and the at 6pm he has his Respirodone 1mg. He runs around the house trying to bite people, he is so rude and antiginistic, he will swear and threaten me. This Toby I HATE! and I dont feel guilty about saying it. The other Toby is so caring, thoughtful, funny, witty, a pleasure to have around, I dont see this Toby very often anymore and I miss him terribly, I know I should take the good with the bad but I cant anymore, I realy do think the only thing that will help him now is a residential setting. It will break my heart and I dont know how I will cope emotionally, but this is for his future, he needs a stern milatary approach and maybe I am too soft with him. I dont know.

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