Fathers Day

Well its almost fathers day and I want to go to the cemetary to visit my Dads grave. I love to go but at the same time I hate going..does this make any sense? I try to go every 2 weeks sometimes more if I feel the need to talk to my parents. I just feel so alone with out them here. I don't have much of a family anymore since they have both passed away. If I didn't have my son I don't know what I would do.

I look at my parents pictures and cry because I miss them so. I remember when I was younger I never even thought about losing them one day. I guess I didn't want to think about it. But you know things happen in life that we don't think about. And one day...boom you turn around and realize that your loved ones is gone. I know that death is a part of life but I still hate it. I wrote a poem for my Dad and I will add it here. I wrote this poem the year my Dad passed away on Father's Day.

Daddy

So many images come to my mind
Whenever I speak your name
It seems without you in my life
Things will never be the same
What happened to all those times
When I always looked to you
No matter what happened in my life
You would make my gray skies turn blue
We had so many happy times
Which wasn't so long ago
It did my heart good just to see you smile
And with that I knew you loved me so

Some days I hear your voice
And I turn to see your face
Yet when turning....it seems the sound has been erased
Who will I turn to for answers
When life doesn't make sense
Who will be there to hold me close
When pieces doesn't seem to fit

Oh Daddy, if I could turn back time
And hear your voice once more
I would tell you that out of all the Dads
You would still be my choice

Not a second passes when you are not in my mind
Your love I will never forget
But the hurt I will in time
Many tears I have seen and cried
And they have poured like rain
I know that you are happy now
And are no longer in any pain

Please always know I love you
And no one else could ever take your place
Years may come and go
But your memory will never be erased
Jesus if you are listening in your home above
Would you go find my Daddy
And give him all my love

My Dad had a lot of health problems...prostate cancer and we just found it out after he passed away. He also had Diabetes. He had already lost one of his eyes and was not able to drive anymore. That nearly killed him. He had 2 strokes and never really recovered. I was just so glad I could take him in and take care of him. I would have crawled if I had to..to make sure he was taken care of.

I love you Dad!