"10 good reasons to stay alive are 10 good reasons that I cant find"

Why do I drink?
Because I feel alone
Because I’m bored
Because I’m depressed
Because it’s an escape
Because I feel like **** about myself
Because I have nothing better to do
Because I like getting ****** up
Because I like feeling numb and warm and sleepy
Because I’m not that bad, yet
Because it’s a distraction
Because it’s a buffer for my emotions

Why shouldn’t I drink?
Because my parents don’t trust me anymore
Because my parents think I’m an alcoholic
Because I made my sister and my mom cry
Because it hurts me and people around me
Because it’s not good for my physical health as well as my emotional health
Because I want my parents to worry about what college, not rehab clinic, is good and affordable for me
Because I pray to God, Allah, Buddha, Jesus, Vishnu, etc, that it won’t get to that
Because it’s escapist ********
Because my friends are worried about me
Because it makes me feel more like ****
Because all my excuses are melting into ********
Because I’m becoming addicted
Because only losers who can’t admit that they’re losers do it
Because alcoholism runs in my family
Because being an alcoholic doesn’t make me a badass, it just makes me more of a ******* loser
Because it’ll destroy my liver, as well as other vital organs I can’t name at the moment
Because only insecure ***** do it to feel cool and badass
Because it makes my depression and anxiety worse