day from he11

I need to remember tonight as it was a little trying. While working on my truck, I was digging through my tools and came across a half full bottle of booze. I backed up like it was a rattlesnake and got my friend who was helping me to pour it out I didn't even want to smell it.
About a month ago I encountered a situation just as troubling-i had just gotten out of the hospital and immediately went back to work on a rental property. A couple of hours into it,one of the tenants walked in with a half gallon of liquor and proceeded to make drinks for everyone there. Next thing I know, he set a mixed drink in front of me and it was like stories in the big book- I was blindsided. It was too much too soon. Only another alcoholic could fully understand such a situation. With no mental defense against the first drink, I truly understand that concept now. I'm not making excuses, I'm just making sense out of something I'd read about and have now experienced myself. I had just spent over 2 weeks in the hospital, and picked it up. I would end up hospitalized again before it was over. If that isn't insanity as it is mentioned in the second step, I don't know what is. As such, my experience tonight has brought me some gratitude, and has shown me that I'm getting better. I can't take the credit though, that goes to god, all I've done is pray. I'm under some of the most adverse circumstances right now, but one day at a time I'm making progress. -