Nov 16, 2009
I have figured out that I am far stronger than I ever knew. But a lesson learned is that I am only the vessel.....the Lord is the Source!
The most recent difficulties with my health have proven to me that God is in control and has a bigger plan than I could ever imagine. Although I have been totally and absolutely been brought to my breaking point with the physical pain I have been going through, I have found an inner place of stillness and calm that only God could have given me.
I remember being wheeled down the hall for my surgery and saying to Him, "I surrender....I am totally in your care and control and I believe that because you love me, that whatever happens from here on out, will be the best for all of us." I closed my eyes, and awoke in excruciating pain...fighting with the nurse who was trying to keep my oxygen mask on me, and realizing that I was alive.....the "fight" was there....so I knew that no matter what, I was going to go from that day forward celebrating every little pang of pain and symptom, because it meant that I was alive and able to fight,,,but only because God has willed it.
The Lord has rescued me from the mouth of the enemy and is continuing in faithfulness to hold me up, carry me, and provide for all of us through every doctor's visit, every new treatment or medication that fails, every day that my husband can't go to work or get paid because of my illness, every disagreement or problem associated with getting my son the best medical and educational treatment, every little worry or concern of my heart and soul and spirit, every day of gratitude for breath and life!
He is truly my God....my Savior! And I am safe in the harbor of His unconditional love!