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How much longer.........
Nov 22, 2009 07:55AM
- 7 comments
I was laying awake last night in so much pain thinking to myself how much longer can I cope with this cr*p its wearing me out now.
I had a phone call from my GP on Friday she got a letter from my neurologist who has told her he wants me to see a rheumatologist and to arrange it ASAP. The last person she wrote to declined as she said all my symptoms are neurological and although my neuro knows a lot are he thinks and has always thought that there is more than one thing going on.
So back on the trail. My GP is going to arrange for me to see a different rheumatologist in the city rather than local. I dont care as long as I get somewhere.
All I want is some peace no pain is that too much to ask really. They offer me medication to help the nerve pain but cant tell me why I am in pain enough to have this medication its ludicrous LOL.
They gave me gabapentin which is horrible and made me feel spaced out, and Amytriptline for the night and when I took it I could hardly get up in the morning.
Why is it soooooooooo hard to find out what is wrong with me.
I have so many things show up.
I just dont know if I have the strength any more to fight this. I sound really self absorbed here but I am not 3 years is a long time to be in pain and have no idea why.
When I was laying there last night trying to get back to sleep I felt like running away as if that would make any difference but sometimes I wonder if it is my life that is causing it. Perhaps if I go somewhere else i will feel better.
I almost feel tempted at times to try it but then reality sets in and I have a good day and all is well with the world again.
I think if I could work out when I am going to have a good or bad day it might help, but everyday is different.
I can have the worse night ever but have a great day, I can sleep like a log without waking up and have the worse day ever its all so confusing.
Oh well tomorrow is another day. Perhaps I will not be so self pitying when I get up tomorrow who knows.
It almost feels like ground hog day. ..............................x
I had a phone call from my GP on Friday she got a letter from my neurologist who has told her he wants me to see a rheumatologist and to arrange it ASAP. The last person she wrote to declined as she said all my symptoms are neurological and although my neuro knows a lot are he thinks and has always thought that there is more than one thing going on.
So back on the trail. My GP is going to arrange for me to see a different rheumatologist in the city rather than local. I dont care as long as I get somewhere.
All I want is some peace no pain is that too much to ask really. They offer me medication to help the nerve pain but cant tell me why I am in pain enough to have this medication its ludicrous LOL.
They gave me gabapentin which is horrible and made me feel spaced out, and Amytriptline for the night and when I took it I could hardly get up in the morning.
Why is it soooooooooo hard to find out what is wrong with me.
I have so many things show up.
I just dont know if I have the strength any more to fight this. I sound really self absorbed here but I am not 3 years is a long time to be in pain and have no idea why.
When I was laying there last night trying to get back to sleep I felt like running away as if that would make any difference but sometimes I wonder if it is my life that is causing it. Perhaps if I go somewhere else i will feel better.
I almost feel tempted at times to try it but then reality sets in and I have a good day and all is well with the world again.
I think if I could work out when I am going to have a good or bad day it might help, but everyday is different.
I can have the worse night ever but have a great day, I can sleep like a log without waking up and have the worse day ever its all so confusing.
Oh well tomorrow is another day. Perhaps I will not be so self pitying when I get up tomorrow who knows.
It almost feels like ground hog day. ..............................x
Hi there. I can very much relate to your post here. Many a time I have wanted to run away from my pain and life, even tried when I was in childbirth. I hope that today is a better day for you.
If we do decide to run away we can all go together. LOL :) It must be so hard to endure day after day, I know what you mean, the pain meds just leave you with different issues. I have been cutting down on the Gabapentin and hate tri-cylcic anti depressents...!!
Mrs A you are such an encouragement to us all. That isn't always helpful but I don't know where we would be without you.
Don't you wish Dr could do more or they could figure out what is going on, especially with all of us having similar symptoms.
Hugs!!
Tracy
Mrs A you are such an encouragement to us all. That isn't always helpful but I don't know where we would be without you.
Don't you wish Dr could do more or they could figure out what is going on, especially with all of us having similar symptoms.
Hugs!!
Tracy
i am so sorry you are feeling this way, but like so many of us on this board, i can completely relate. it seems so unbelievable that modern medicine cannot help those of us who are the square pegs who do not fit into the round holes.
i send my prayers and thoughts of healing across the miles to you, and to everyone else here. like tracy says above, you have helped us all so much. i know it is so difficult, but keep the faith.
warmly,
binx
i send my prayers and thoughts of healing across the miles to you, and to everyone else here. like tracy says above, you have helped us all so much. i know it is so difficult, but keep the faith.
warmly,
binx
I second all of the above postings. Try not to let it get you down, even though it is always there.
I have been in pain over 3yrs now (since my last Grand Mal siezure), and broke 4 vertibrae. The hospital didnt even take an xray when I got there, even though my husband told them to check my back, then they sent me home. This was over the Christmas-New Year holiday, so my GP arranged for an xray, and the could see 3 severe breaks, then they sent me for an MRI and found another. No one knew why I had the seizure. I saw 2 neurologists and a few other specialists (osteoporosis, oncologist), and no one saw anything. In there books that was the end. But now I have to live with constant pain because my bones didnt heal straight, have to take medication, not sitting or standing too long, being really careful when walking on ice etc., and I still dont know what caused it and I dont know if it will happen again.
There are a lot of us out here who can relate to what you are going through. All you can do is take it in stride, and every day try to make it a bit better.
Hoping you feel better very soon.
I have been in pain over 3yrs now (since my last Grand Mal siezure), and broke 4 vertibrae. The hospital didnt even take an xray when I got there, even though my husband told them to check my back, then they sent me home. This was over the Christmas-New Year holiday, so my GP arranged for an xray, and the could see 3 severe breaks, then they sent me for an MRI and found another. No one knew why I had the seizure. I saw 2 neurologists and a few other specialists (osteoporosis, oncologist), and no one saw anything. In there books that was the end. But now I have to live with constant pain because my bones didnt heal straight, have to take medication, not sitting or standing too long, being really careful when walking on ice etc., and I still dont know what caused it and I dont know if it will happen again.
There are a lot of us out here who can relate to what you are going through. All you can do is take it in stride, and every day try to make it a bit better.
Hoping you feel better very soon.
We're all here for you. I too, just passed my 3rd anniversary of fatigue and pain.
The doctors who dont understand us "square pegs who do not fit into the round holes" (great saying binx67!), the medications that help very little, and everything else going on can make you frusterated ("frusterated" being the understatement of the year). But be thankful your alive. At one point or another we all think it would be best if we just curled up and died, but look deep into your soul and you'll see that is NOT TRUE. god created you, and knew what you would be going through. He has a great, fantastic plan for you. you just have to have faith.
I too, i have a story about my health. But sometimes its best to be thankful we are not dying of cancer, and leave our health concerns behind. focusing on what is wrong with us never helps us see what we are thankful for. Since thanksgiving is right around the corner, take a few days to go on a "thankful safari". look anywhere, and you'll see people who have it worse than us.
Hang in there and god bless!!
~ teenage fellow sufferer :)
The doctors who dont understand us "square pegs who do not fit into the round holes" (great saying binx67!), the medications that help very little, and everything else going on can make you frusterated ("frusterated" being the understatement of the year). But be thankful your alive. At one point or another we all think it would be best if we just curled up and died, but look deep into your soul and you'll see that is NOT TRUE. god created you, and knew what you would be going through. He has a great, fantastic plan for you. you just have to have faith.
I too, i have a story about my health. But sometimes its best to be thankful we are not dying of cancer, and leave our health concerns behind. focusing on what is wrong with us never helps us see what we are thankful for. Since thanksgiving is right around the corner, take a few days to go on a "thankful safari". look anywhere, and you'll see people who have it worse than us.
Hang in there and god bless!!
~ teenage fellow sufferer :)
Thanks guys for putting my life back into perspective. I still feel wobbly to be honest but I am trying to get back on track.
Its just the pain at the minute its really wearing me out but hopefully in a few days it will get better I can only hope.
I can thank you all enough for taking the time out of your own busy lives to support me. Thank you. xxxx Mariaxxx
Its just the pain at the minute its really wearing me out but hopefully in a few days it will get better I can only hope.
I can thank you all enough for taking the time out of your own busy lives to support me. Thank you. xxxx Mariaxxx
Old Texas saying, "No matter where you go, there you are."
But if we all run away together, it would at least be fun.
But if we all run away together, it would at least be fun.
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