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An Introduction (And My First Entry)

Dec 04, 2009 - 0 comments
Tags:

first entry

,

introduction

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Anxiety

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stress

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Depression

,

mood



I've had a sore throat for at least 3 days now.  I haven't had much energy, so mostly I've been staying in bed.  I haven't eaten much today either, except one cheese and ham sandwich.  As for drinking, I've had a few herbal teas, one small glass of milk and still strawberry flavoured water.  I lack enthusiasm to do so much as turn the TV on, although I've been doing random stuff online, using my laptop while staying in bed.  If I were feeling better, I'd be doing the things I usually enjoy doing.  For some reason, I often enjoy certain hobbies that my younger nieces and nephews would enjoy, probably because I have Asperger's Syndrome.  So I would enjoy playing the Playstation 2 and the Nintendo DS, as well as reading and drawing.  I sometimes do story-writing and poem-writing too, although I haven't done any for quite a while now.  I don't really do much activity that involves leaving the house, or even my bedroom.  But that's the way I like things.  I do go out sometimes though, whether it's into town, on an outing with my dad, or whether it's to visit my sisters.  But that's really all I do.  I've never been able to handle anything like school or work, because it tends to stress me and causes anxiety, or in some cases, even depression.  I've been on anti-depressants since I was 14 (which was when I left school for good).  At the moment, although I'm not deeply depressed, my mood isn't positive either.  I have so many thoughts going through my head right now; about going for an ultrasound scan next week to see whether or not I have polycystic ovaries, why I haven't had a period in over 3 months, why I seem to suffer pain ten times worse than other people (possibly known as hypersensitivity), what it'll be like to see one of my stories getting published ... It keeps going on and on.  That's probably why I can't handle doing things the way other people do everyday.  I often focus on my favourite things to do, in order to try and keep my mood positive.  But right now, it's not helping me at all.  And my throat still feels dry and raw.  I think I need to take a break and try to do something else, so I'm going to write more some other time.

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