I miss them ):

It was at this time exactly a week ago that I was spending some very special last moments with my beautiful and very much loved kitties. Bam and Pebbles (Chebbers) were their names...I just feel I have to do them justice and tell people about them. They were just cats. Yep, that's what they were to most people. But to me, they were a part of the family. I remember Bam as a kitten. He was the most adorable fluffy little furball I had ever seen. He was one of two kittens left of the litter in the cage at the petstore in Hinesville, Georgia. I wanted him-he was so sweet. I told the pet store owner he was the one and grabbed him out of the cage. The pet store owner said that the two of them were quite close and that he would give me a discount if I took both of them together. The other kitten, a female, wasn't what I wanted but they were inseparable so I went home with both of them.

My daughter Summer was just one year old. She is now almost 15. Her and her sister Chelsey tugged at those kittens, lugged them around, pulled on their ears and it was then that I taught them to love and be kind to the furry creatures. They learned to love and respect animals. Those cats never once scratched, bit or hurt anyone. They were the most gentle, loving animals I have ever had the pleasure to spend my life caring for and being loved by. Brooke and Alexa were born after them, as was Brody. The girls were quickly taught how to love and respect them and as a result also love animals like I do. Brody was just in the process of learning this life skill. I was teaching him to be nice to Bam, not pull his hair and to respect the cats. After all, they were much older and wiser-they deserved that.

They were never, ever naughty or mean but they developed some issues with where they need to go to the bathroom. I tried things in the years past and it would get better then pick back up again usually after a move, new baby, new person or some sort of trauma. I think this last time it was because the basement flooded. But they were urinating in shoes, clothes baskets, anything basically that was left on the floor. I found a few spots that were soaked on the carpet downstairs last Thursday night and that was the final straw. It was a spontaneous decision. I called the vet Friday morning and made an appt for 2:30.

A week ago today Chebbers was basking in the sun on our deck. Her fur was shiny and blowing in the breeze. She sniffed the air and rolled around in the sun. Bam was giving us love and being his lazy self...lying on the kitchen chairs. I went out and got a clay mold to make prints of their paws and pressed them into the clay. I'm so glad I did that. I wish I would have brushed them. They loved that. They were so beautiful and took such good care of themselves. Bam has always been the cleanest cat and I felt so bad that he had feces on his fur. That wasn't like him. Chebs, well, I don't even think she was doing anything wrong-but they came into this world together and I figured it was only proper and just to let them be together on their way out.

We scooped them up at about 1:30 and put them in the car. They were so scared. By the time we got to the vet they were panting. Bam (this breaks my heart to think about!!!) was so worried...he crawled willingly into the pet carrier that the vet gave us...thinking it was a more secure, safe place. Once we got inside, they were huddled together in that carrier and I couldn't help but think of the day I saw them in a similar position as kittens in that pet store when our lives started together. Now, this was the end and there they were, looking at me trustingly. So anyhow, we took them into the room and the vet opened the cage. He grabbed Bam by the scruff of his neck and I quickly took him. I was so upset that he was just another animal coming to be put down, in the vets eyes. "Don't grab my Bam like that!" I wanted to say to him!! How dare he treat my beloved pet that way!

He explained the process...that he would give them a shot to make them fall asleep, just like they would for surgery. And just like that, he stuck them both. Bam whipped his head around and looked at the vet, wondering what had just happened. Within a minute or two, Pebbles was sleeping. We cried and pet them both as they fell asleep. Bam, however, fought it. I don't know how, but he was always such a proud cat, always trying not to look cowardly. He stood up for as long as he could stand it and then in his last few seconds awake, he made his way to his sister and laid his head on her back. That was his way...he confirmed that I did the right thing, by having her there with him. He loved her and was comforted by her presence.

I loved my cats. I loved them more than most people can imagine. They were a sense of comfort for me on sad days. Their purrs calmed me. Their presence was always known. I miss them. I miss Bam sleeping at the foot of my bed. I miss him nudging his way into the bathroom every time I was in there and if the door was shut, he would howl for me to let him in. He was a talker and always wanted to be where I was. He was a people cat! Pebbles, she was more of a loner but never was afraid to let it be known when she wanted love. She was so willing to give love in return also! She would give a hard nudge and the loudest purr ever!

My cats loved me and in return they were so deeply loved back. I would give almost anything to have one last pet, purr and kitty kiss. They are so greatly missed and I can still feel their presence but the foot of my bed is empty and my bathroom trips are no longer greeted by Bam. For those of you who have loved a pet or pets as deeply as I have, you understand. A week ago today, they were here and had no idea where I was going to bring them. They trusted me and I feel that I betrayed them, but I know it's not okay to allow them to continue to mess around the house and at their age, I don't think it was ever going to stop.

I hope there is a place in heaven for them because I want them by my side when I get there. They're not just cats. They are family.

RIP Bam and Chebs. You are truly missed.