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This is such a SUCKY feeling!!!!

Dec 18, 2009 - 2 comments
Tags:

subutex

,

Recovery

,

Addiction

,

Vicodin

,

scared

,

withdrawal

,

pills

,

PAIN PILLS



How am I NOT to be scared right now.  Im on 1/8th a pill a day which means 1 pill now lasts me over a week compaired to 2 days before.  I can feel the withdrawals this time of morning and its miserable.  How am I going to jump? I want to be off.  I want to be done so bad but thats not good enough.  I have to "want" it.  How much more can I want this?  Im scared.  I have no one who understands.  My bestfriend nor my husband know and Id like to keep it that way.  This is just so aweful.  I get so upset knowing my dr has willingly kept me on this for over a year for an addiction that really wasnt all that bad! I still am kicking myself in the *** for letting myself myself prolong this for over a year when I could have been a year clean by now!
So frustrated
so drained :(
Who knew this is who I would turn out to be

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1165765_tn?1279151748
by Bugsite, Jan 15, 2010
hello mate!

dont worry, you're NOT alone, im scared too! im doing exactly what you are... but im nearly a week into this SUCKY FEELING!!!! no one on this site is alone. your post was very honest and it sounds like you're in dire straits!!! you came to the right place.

someone i totally trust told me something that boosted my motivation, determination and hope + faith. she said "you CAN do it, and just think that this will be the last time you will ever feel this way again."

use that to drive you and look towards the finish line... its in front of you. maybe not close, but its there!

if you're on 1/8th of a pill, then IMO its time to make that dreaded jump. i did it for 6 days and im slowly starting to feel like "me" again. as the days go by, you will withstand the pain, and trust me... there a things you can do to reduce that pain.

it would be great if you never had to see you're Dr again, i saw him for 4 years!!! 1 year isnt too late, think about it.

you're right... you have to want it. do you?

i NEED to do it...

when you say...   "Who knew this is who I would turn out to be"? it makes me sad... but its not over for you yet. its up to you...you need to make a decision.

To be free...

1165765_tn?1279151748
by Bugsite, Jan 15, 2010
oh sh.. it didnt know it was you K.

i thought it was some new guy that was alone and needed advice.

mybad... forget everything i just said before. hahaha!

so thats was what you said a while ago... you really have become stronger than.

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