First Aid for Holiday family  stress

It sounds paradoxical that we take holidays to manage our holiday stress.

I know from my own personal experiences that rarely anything ever feels like a holiday or a break.  Personal issues seem to tag along regardless.

Thank you for the support you have made available to us over this often stressful period.  Also, thank you for your support, to both me and others, throughout the year.

An emotional er sounds like a pretty good idea.

Thanks again for everything.  I hope you have a great holiday/ break.

J

I once heard that holidays are one of the main causes of heart attacks....

Christmas is a lovely time, but unfortunately is one of those times when we either MAKE stress (ie running around like headless chickens trying to get those last brussels sprouts/turkey/other food items/ from the store before they close Christmas Eve; having to super-clean the house from top to bottom ...when even TWO guests have messed it all up again in 1/2 hour flat!; rushing around trying to find those last-minute gifts, that if we cared enough about ourselves we would have bought at leisure back in October... etc....) Forward planning can help with this.

OR....we have stress thrown upon us, for instance, having to spend extended and possibly uncomfortable periods of time with people we may not necessarily get along with all that well. Remember, we can choose our friends....we can't choose our family! There is no immediate cure for this except to put down some limits. For instance "yes dear (family member), you would be very welcome to come stay with us over Christmas, but 2 nights only....." (instead of a week) get what I mean? Excuses or even white lies are better than suffering and bad temper.

Two nights with a deaf 89-year-old MIL who refuses to try hearing aids and also refuses to bathe or bring a change of clothing were MORE than enough for me.  Airing of the bedroom has commenced today.  LOL!  Our ears are still ringing from having to shout for 3 days.  She couldn't understand why the dogs kept shoving their noses into her unmentionables either.  Why do some seniors think they no longer have to bathe?  :-O

I learned how to deal with Holiday Stress over 25 years ago.
I told my Family and In-Laws not to buy gifts for my family. The Grand Parents could of course buy gifts for the Grand Children.
I know what my family’s wants and needs are and they know what their family’s wants and needs are. By concentrating on this everyone receives quality. This eliminates the stress of trying to buy gifts that everyone likes and still have the funding to purchase quality gifts for our own wives and kids.
We have a Family Christmas get together at my In-Laws (my parents have passed away). If there is any drama, I leave.
We have Christmas Dinner at my house; everyone is laid back and has a good time. This is mainly contributed because everyone knows that I do not tolerate any B.S.
My kids are grown and we ask them not to purchase gifts for my wife and me. The reason why is because we love all of them equally. Some make more money than others and can afford to buy expensive gifts. I would rather receive nothing than see the look in the face of the one that can’t afford expensive gifts.
This is how I eliminated Holiday Stress; I killed it instead of letting it kill me.

Jaybay- My heart goes out to you.  I have a friend that works Homicide. He told me they put Vick’s Vapor Rub under their nose for the really bad ones. I don’t know if the dogs will go for it though.

a million close family members, children etcetc no longer in contact, personality disorder is my tag, but have many racing thots  2 understand just what i should feel guilty about today, alcohol helps but 2  expensive. meds have not found right
combination.  ea time i have a decent therapist, they find another job,retire, insurance discontinue payments.  living is only good when i am manic and make more enemies. happy holidays .nettytels