Death of husband
Jul 04, 2008 09:00PM
- 24 comments
In july 4 1995 after being at a family barbecue, I came home to find my husband who was an iv drug user suffering with aids in a coma. The fireworks were going off, and i had my four year old daughter with me. I very calmly took her to a neighbor, call his docter and started the life safing procedure the docter was telling me. 911 arrived withing minutes and we went to hospital.
The Doctors said he was in a coma, proablly overdosed and could last days or hours. I sent everyone home, I needed to be alone with him. After only two hour he passed so peacfully. and I new this is what he wanted. He couldnt handle the fact that he aids, and did not want his kids to grow up with that stigma, he couldnt stop using and i dont think he wanted to live that way anymore.
I remarried 8 years later to a wonderful man, and we discovered i had hep c. I have never used iv drugs, but i did always search the house for his "works" or i would rip the needle right out of his hand, i could have shared a tooth brush who knows how i got it, and basically it doesnt matter.
i am fighting this fight for me! my kids and my husband! but also for Billy because its a fight he couldnt fight!
On fourth of July, when i see fireworks and remember that horrible night in 1995 and then a beautiful one will appear in the sky and i see Billy smiling down on me and our kids... and he saying" Kick A## Babe you can do this!
peace
RIP Billy
ed
The Doctors said he was in a coma, proablly overdosed and could last days or hours. I sent everyone home, I needed to be alone with him. After only two hour he passed so peacfully. and I new this is what he wanted. He couldnt handle the fact that he aids, and did not want his kids to grow up with that stigma, he couldnt stop using and i dont think he wanted to live that way anymore.
I remarried 8 years later to a wonderful man, and we discovered i had hep c. I have never used iv drugs, but i did always search the house for his "works" or i would rip the needle right out of his hand, i could have shared a tooth brush who knows how i got it, and basically it doesnt matter.
i am fighting this fight for me! my kids and my husband! but also for Billy because its a fight he couldnt fight!
On fourth of July, when i see fireworks and remember that horrible night in 1995 and then a beautiful one will appear in the sky and i see Billy smiling down on me and our kids... and he saying" Kick A## Babe you can do this!
peace
RIP Billy
ed
I'm so sorry for your lose. Please, if you have any other family or friends.- make sure that you spend thim with them.
Peace
Peace
i'm sorry... hope you are doing well :) *huggles*
Oh rita, I'm so sorry for your loss!
I hope you can find peace in your life.
hugs to you,
darla
I hope you can find peace in your life.
hugs to you,
darla
Rita,
Here's to Billy! And also to you. You are so srong, you humble me.
Be well,
jd
Here's to Billy! And also to you. You are so srong, you humble me.
Be well,
jd
Right on Rita --- That's the spirit!
I am of the same mind as you - when folks we love pass on - they only want the best for us and not a bunch of whimps pouting about how much we miss someone who is probably doing something much more interesting than what we call life!
So I think you're awesome for holding that vision in your mind - and for the changes in your life!
Rock the heck on - and Happy 4th of July!
Meki
I am of the same mind as you - when folks we love pass on - they only want the best for us and not a bunch of whimps pouting about how much we miss someone who is probably doing something much more interesting than what we call life!
So I think you're awesome for holding that vision in your mind - and for the changes in your life!
Rock the heck on - and Happy 4th of July!
Meki
Hi, Rita........
Is your Hep. C under treatment?
I love the way you soar. Past is water under the bridge.....keep on fighting and hold on to your spirit is what makes you a stronger and happier person regardless what trials we're going through. My hat is off to you,your husband, and Billy who still inspires from above.
In friendship,
Kit
Is your Hep. C under treatment?
I love the way you soar. Past is water under the bridge.....keep on fighting and hold on to your spirit is what makes you a stronger and happier person regardless what trials we're going through. My hat is off to you,your husband, and Billy who still inspires from above.
In friendship,
Kit
Meki,
I guess you could call me a whimp ! LOL...it is very hard to get over
a loved one being sick or death. But you're right..we have to move on and they
are in a much better place.
Rita...my utmost admiration for you.
Hugs to you always
Elaine
I guess you could call me a whimp ! LOL...it is very hard to get over
a loved one being sick or death. But you're right..we have to move on and they
are in a much better place.
Rita...my utmost admiration for you.
Hugs to you always
Elaine
My best to you Rita. What a tough thing for a 31 year old to face. It seems apparent that you had the strength and grace to deal with all that and yet still find warmth and understanding for your poor hubby. I think those same strengths will carry you through your current endeavor fighting HCV.
Keep smiling and keep fighting......
best,
Willy
Keep smiling and keep fighting......
best,
Willy
Rita,
I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for you. You really have had your fair share to carry and deal with. Your story has really moved me. I also think the good Lord never gives us more than we can truly handle. I wish you all the best during this 4th of July weekend! I will be thinking of you.
Andy
I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for you. You really have had your fair share to carry and deal with. Your story has really moved me. I also think the good Lord never gives us more than we can truly handle. I wish you all the best during this 4th of July weekend! I will be thinking of you.
Andy
Rita,
I am so so sorry to hear of your loss. I truly am.
I personally know how loss gives you strength to carry on an be stronger than before.
You fight my friend and always remember the people we've lost along the way. They are all such a part of who we are now.
May he rest in eternal peace.
Best wishes to you ,
Charm
I am so so sorry to hear of your loss. I truly am.
I personally know how loss gives you strength to carry on an be stronger than before.
You fight my friend and always remember the people we've lost along the way. They are all such a part of who we are now.
May he rest in eternal peace.
Best wishes to you ,
Charm
Your story is very touching, sad and beautiful at the same time. I myself have lost a brother, my father and my mother... but losing your spouse must be different again. Especially under the circumstances it happened. I admire you for your strength and wisdom. I myself have come to believe that death is a continuation of life. Actually our stay on this earth is just a short and little part of the real life...
God bless the father of your children, your children, your husband and yourself.
Hugs, marcia
God bless the father of your children, your children, your husband and yourself.
Hugs, marcia
Rita,
I am sorry for your loss, but I understand the peacefullness that after a time came with it, You are a wonderful brave women!
I am glad life is different for you now, that you found someone to stan dby you and love you.
You humble me.
You are a SUPER chick!
Hugs Deb
I am sorry for your loss, but I understand the peacefullness that after a time came with it, You are a wonderful brave women!
I am glad life is different for you now, that you found someone to stan dby you and love you.
You humble me.
You are a SUPER chick!
Hugs Deb
Rita, I am very sorry that you went thru such a terrible ordeal. I think that most of us have a cross of sorts to bear but that is a tough one. Your husband (from your post) seems to be a very nice man, good for you and your daughter!! Keep on truckin' and kill the dragon.
Denise
Denise
How odd it is that I just stumbled across your posting. July 4, 1993 was the last time we saw our good friend and neighbor alive. He was gay, a former IV drug user, and one of the early patients diagnosed with AIDS. There was no drug cocktail available back then to treat him with, and he died a horrible death I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
Independence Day and all the fireworks was one of G-'s favorite holidays, so his partner asked all his friends to come over to their house to celebrate. Well, celebrate and say goodbye to G-. I'll never forget seeing G- so incapacitated. He literally could not raise himself into a sitting position without assistance. It took three people to get him into a wheelchair to get him outside to watch the fireworks. G- was able to wave a couple of sparklers that night, and that was all. What a change from the man who used to spend a fortune on fireworks and relish in lighting every fuse. Thinking on it now I can still see him smiling and waving those sparklers in the air. Two days later, he was gone. His partner, T-, is pretty certain that G- deliberately overdosed on his pain meds. He had said goodbye to all of us who loved him, and that was all he was waiting for. He had had enough and did what he wanted to do.
Losing G- was one of the most painful events of my life and my husband's. I hate that you have had to deal with so much yourself, but I thank you for reminding me of a good friend again. :-)
Independence Day and all the fireworks was one of G-'s favorite holidays, so his partner asked all his friends to come over to their house to celebrate. Well, celebrate and say goodbye to G-. I'll never forget seeing G- so incapacitated. He literally could not raise himself into a sitting position without assistance. It took three people to get him into a wheelchair to get him outside to watch the fireworks. G- was able to wave a couple of sparklers that night, and that was all. What a change from the man who used to spend a fortune on fireworks and relish in lighting every fuse. Thinking on it now I can still see him smiling and waving those sparklers in the air. Two days later, he was gone. His partner, T-, is pretty certain that G- deliberately overdosed on his pain meds. He had said goodbye to all of us who loved him, and that was all he was waiting for. He had had enough and did what he wanted to do.
Losing G- was one of the most painful events of my life and my husband's. I hate that you have had to deal with so much yourself, but I thank you for reminding me of a good friend again. :-)
I just realized that you and I have a lot in common. I have a husband I love very much who was exposed to hep C (but has no active virus at this time) and somehow I have remained unscathed at this point. I was a ballet dancer, we ride Harleys, two dogs, a cockatiel, a quaker parrot, we both love offshore fishing. Sounds like you're my twin! :-)
Dear Rita- Thank you very much for sharing such a moving story with us. What a wonderful way to honor the memory of your Billy, to feel his love, in the beauty of of fireworks. I'd bet that it feels as if it was much more recent than 13 years ago. I'm delighted that you were able to find someone new to love you and your children. God bless you all. Lotza Hugs, Grandma Bevy
Rita, I am so moved by your story and by your fighting spirit. With that spirit and all who love you, here and from afar, you'll be able to get through all things.
Not only are you an inspitation to your loved ones your an inspiration to us here also!
I wish you the best of everything,
TMA
Not only are you an inspitation to your loved ones your an inspiration to us here also!
I wish you the best of everything,
TMA
Thank you all for such wonderful posts! Billy's spirit does live on. I am blessed with my children and my husband who have supported me since I started treating. (although since i got hep c we joke and say Billy Never wants us to forget him) . I also agree that G*D gives us only what we can handle, and that is what keeps me going! I am also blessed with such wonderful friends on this forum..each and every one of you are so special too me.
Peace
Peace
We are lucky to have you! No matter how hard it is, He is always with it!
rita ...my god girl you are so strong and god bless you and you stay strong
and you will kick this dragon,s a$$
much love
kimmy
and you will kick this dragon,s a$$
much love
kimmy
WOW HONEY! YOU ROCK ON GIRL! GOD BLESS YOU!!!
I'm sorry for your loss and applaud you for your courage.. lesa
your post brought me to tears. Remember he is looking down on you and helping you with your fight. always enjoy the fireworks and remember his love..take care and god bless you girl!!!!
thank you for sharing this story. i will pray god will bless you and your family.
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