That I feel very nauseas and get stomach pains after I eat anything. I'm sure you could argue that I eat too many acidic foods or dairy products, but then again, that isn't ALL I eat. Everytime I eat something, I find myself, only about a half hour later, with stomach cramps and bloating and pain. I do not honestly know why at this point. I'm always trying to strech my brain to find answers for these problems I have- and even when I turn out to be right there's always more to the issue than is first seem. You could argue that I clearly have not been taking my stomach meds. But they need to be taken everytime I eat. I am human, so I eat more than 3 times I day. Scattered. That's the healthy way to do it. I HATE when I say I have stomach problems, or can't excercise because of muscle fatigue, or that I don't get enough calcium because I'm lactose intolerant, and people get MAD at me. Why? They offer help and when I explain why that doesn't work they get mad. Like I'm personally offending them. Even when I make it perfectly clear I have reasons- I'm not just trying to be bitchy about it. You can't just send me home telling me to eat more fruit, or yogurt, or do more push ups. The DOCTOR, my medical doctor, told me these things. I told her why that didn't work. She gave me a nervous look and literally just repeated the same thing again. Then she handed me a paper with the same words on it and I left because what's the friggin point?
And I have the medical records to say yes I have reflux and am lactose intolerant. I've had a tube put down my throat. But people still roll their eyes at me. What's your problem? Do I strike you as someone who sits home staring at the wall looking for issues to create? I'm not. These are physical discomforts. Ones that I am used to because I've had them forever, parden me for not screaming in pain everyday eating my lunch in the school cafeteria. Some days I would like to- when all the things they serve are tomatoe sauce and cheese. Or barbecue sauce. Or whatever. And the bagels need cream cheese to be edible. Yogurt? No. Turkey cheese and tomatoes? No thank you. A large chocolate muffin? Does that even sound good?
Otherwise, I checked the sign and yes, there is a modeling thing. I have no idea what it's about though. Not the slightest clue. Now I'm properly scared. I'm going though.
I got in trouble again and again today for not knowing how to properly frost and bread crumb a cake. Oh welll. These cakes had better be majorly delicious because of all the effort they got out of me this week. And I love making cakes. No, I'm lying. The cakes don't need to be delicious- we got to eat the gimpy cake at the end and it WAS delicious. My stomach hurt after. Like I didn't see that coming. I still enjoyed it. A lot.
School was school. We had a real algebra test, and I think I did okay. I can hope. English of course was just a ton of work. Crim was about law and such. I don't like to go into detail about my school day so much because it's too much to tag, plus tedious. Are all my days really do different? Nope. I'm struggling to keep focused and warm and take proper notes. I'm certainly learning, but the rest is not filling out right.
Steve is hanging out with his friends. Which I mean, I have no problem with. Obviously I realize I spend all week with him and there are logical reasons they only hang out on Fridays. Obviously I know it's not because I'm just a time filler and they get the fun day. Even if that's what it looks like asthetically, I know that's not how it is. But why does it always have to be Friday? Everyone already has plans. Steve makes it sound so easy, just call all of them and I'm sure you'll find something. There's reason I haven't called them, they ARE ALL BUSY AND I ALREADY KNOW THAT. I called a few people, but no luck. I'm rotting in front of the computer. It's too cold and windy to even look out a window. Maybe I am just annoying- but would it hurt him to pick up the phone just to say hi to me? Even when I call him three times during the span of the day? I'm actually asking.
My birthday present seems to have leaked battery acid and died? Or just killed the batteries? I don't even know. It is even safe anymore? I can't google it and get a million nasty sites. I'm upset about the early death.
And yeah- I shaved my legs. Finally. I played some COD. I ate popcorn. I couldn't bring myself to be cold and watch Toothless. I followed my ferrets around and giggled at their antics. I love those gooses. I think I start my Buspar tomarrow! I'm anxious to see if it helps. Come on, giving me a med and making me wait to take it? Somethin gI've been waiting for for months? Not letting me have it becasue I'm being a little ridiculous about leaving my Ambien- That's harsh! But tomarrow. Is this my last night with my beloved Ambien? I'm scared.
Ok I'm quite tired in the brain by now.
I also argued over the course of the day with a bunch of homophobes and bible thumpers about that superbowl commercial with the two men kissing. I believe what I believe and I'm not letting the issue go, especially when this isn't their opinions, they're just repeating what they hear. I'll set them straight =D!