Feb 17, 2010
~~~FEB. 10TH LAST PART~~~
It's now been two hours since I had my little taste of radioactive nom noms. And nothing. I have no gallbladder and the worlds most sensitive GI tract. I just finished five grueling days of my GI tract not holding anything ...lets say ...in...and I eat some drippings from a waste pan in Fermi and I'm fine?!
My body is so weird.
So yeah, nothing RAI 131 is nothing to me. No anti-nausea pills needed. My jaw is a little sore. Throat too. Overall no real complaints. Small headache.
I press the call button after 1.5 hours to try to schedule a lunch date for my 2 hour mark and nothing. No response.
Lucky for me my nurse Lee is very sweet, she leaves me a nice turkey sandwich and some fruit without me asking. She is nice, she's not repulsed by me, (using my best hunchback of Hunchback of Notre-Dame voice) I shall call her...Frieeeeeeeend.
After she leaves for the night I press the call button, nothing...zero response. I wait over 45 minutes before I begin rewiring the room. Unplugging, removing and ....yes...moving items to get a response. It doesn't take long.
*STATIC over the intercom* how can we help you? *STATIC*
My reply: Tell me when I can have my Lexy (my pet name for my generic Synthyroid, kind of like Sméagol 's pet name for the Ring. He called the Ring his "precious".)
*STATIC* Maybe tomorrow, we'll ask the doctor. Keep in mind you have to be off it for 2 weeks mam. *STATIC*
My reply...I was on CYTOMEL, and I have been off it for 18 days....give me a time when I can start to get better.
*STATIC* We'll let you know *STATIC*
I become Sméagol in Lord of the Rings...I want my PRECIOUS! My Lexy. I want to stop my eyes from bulging, to tolerate the day light, to feel human again. I want my Precious!
That night I hold it together, I pace, I find creative ways to bathe, I watch Bones a lot. My husband and my mom call and talk me through it, they stick with me even when they can tell I'm loosing it. I cry just thinking of how hard things are for them. I have it easy. When they are not around, I talk to my Sméagol self, rambling on Precious and how good it will be when I have it again.
For now my routine is every 15 minutes suck and spit on sours (no swallow, spit only)
Drink 1 small cup of water
Pace myself, to min. 1 gallon of water a day to get my levels down fast
I want out
badly...my Precious awaits me....
Enter the new nurse...she tells me just pretend you are in the satellite circling earth...great now the song "Major Tom" is playing in my head 24/7 with the mad rants of Sméagol .
The next couple days are a blur, I drink a lot of water- 1 gallon from 1pm to 1am the first day and all night long.
On the 10th at about 1pm my MR rating was 30+ from a distance of < 15 feet.
~~~~~~~On the FEB. 11th ~~~~~~~~`
At 9:30am I was at 4.4 @ 6 feet.
At 6pm I was at 3.1 MR at about the same distance.
I was told no Precious for you...I cried...I longed for my precious...I longed for day light, fresh air and the ability to walk upright. I wanted Hypo hell to end. I wanted the meds I was promised. I am at 19 days no medication.
I cry that night, I have no defenses left. My TSH is so high, I cannot function. I miss my daughter so badly it hurts. I miss my granddaughter so much I cannot breath even while laying down. I miss my babies, my husband. I am feeling sad. I miss my bestest friends Chris and Kimmy. I miss my other besties Tom and Beth. I am grieving for the family times I am going to miss. See I just got here, the boys don't know me, they are getting into their teens, which means they don't want to get to know me. Soon it's Isiah's birthday, then Noah's. They are getting to the age of I don't want a family party. I missed out. We all did.
Soon a new baby is coming and I already love it enough to stay away. Far away. She's going to be 5.5 lbs I think. She's beautiful. I know it.
My sons birthday is on hold. He was such a tough guy, letting me have his room, skipping his party because we can't afford it and I am too sick. My little man is growing up.
I pray my son in law is keeping my girls so busy and full of love, that they have no clue nana's sick.
It hits me too, I mourn because my dad doesn't love me. I am again, without a father to lean on.
I sleep a lot. My poor husband and mother listen to my ramblings and tears. They have no clue how much I love them for walking me through Insane Lane and back.
Precious will wipe this away, heal me...if they would only let me have it. I must drink more water- min every 30 minutes. So swollen. Must keep drinking. Oh nice, prune juice. As it turns out...RAI causes me NOT to go to the potty ...EVER!!! Doc said get under 1.8 @ 3 feet and I can have my Precious and go home.
Must keep drinking. My Gi Tract went from making frothy lattes at home nothing but lead. (Sorry got mushy for a bit but yeah IM BACK :P )
~~~~~~~~~FEB. 12TH 2010~~~~~~~~ Ground Control to Major Tom~~~~~~~
On the 12th at 10am I am a 1 @ 3 feet this means I can go home, but still no Precious. WHY?!?!?!!?!? OMG I hate them!
They stall until my mother in law, my friend, my savior comes with my prescription from home and finally...I get my Precious! One dose in the right direction.
Now 7 days later....I write all of this.
And I am Back!!!
My Precious! (snickers)