Bad day, all day!

What's wrong?  I hope everything is ok?  Write me let me know.  I want to make sure your ok, don't worry you can always vent with me.

Your sweet, Im just having a **** day, Ive been fighting with mark all day and I had a fight with mum, A lady abused me on this site, got un unpaid fines bill from 6 years ago I didnt know I had for $700 (ouch) and everybody is getting a child care rebate for the past 12 months and I got a letter saying I wasnt entitled to any when I pay childcare for 2 kids! And when I went to child care to pick up Danika I said gday to a husband and wife whom I sort of know and he just gave me a dirty look and she barely said 2 words when normally we chat away.  So it was a everybody hate Jen day today but I was already down with Mark abusing me before anything else happened. Just a bad day, normally I see the humor in a bad day and look forward to the next day but today I didnt.  I dont know, sometimes i think i suffer a bit of depression and i hate that word, to me it means im giving into it all and i cant cause i got 3 kids who depend and me and it gets really hard sometimes.  sometimes i just wana runaway from it all but i cant. thats everything on my mind today.  i hope my venting doesnt bring you down thats the last thing i want.  when i type with no caps it means im booby feeding brock and can only type with one hand! haha. see im laughing already! yay! i think i just get angry and frustrated with myself for not making the changes needed. i wish i could just do it pain free. im a sook! do you know the feeling, the i just want to die feeling? sometimes i get that silly, then it all goes away and thats the bit i like.  so there it is. pretty pathetic really.  your such a nice chick, thankyou for wanting to listen (read) haha.  Ill be all happy again tomorrow!  I just had to go blah at the world so I posted it in a journal. lol. I hope your doing better than me today! Thanks again, it means a lot,  Hugs and sunshine Jen.

Jen,  trust me I know the feelings your experiencing and depression ***** but it is an emotion that we have to deal with from time to time.  I know your saying you wish things would just change immediately,  or you wish you could change the things that are causing you pain in your life, but maybe you are.  Maybe it's like watching grass grow, you can't see it grow, but one day you look out your window and you realize you need to cut the grass.  I think that we need to feel all the pain we can possibly handle before we change.  I don't know why we all wait so long to do something positive, but maybe it is because whatever it (our bad experience) is we think it's ok, since it's working?  Does that make sense?  I'm not sure but I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and I'm trying to deal with an awful situation.  I don't see my husbands daughters anymore, only he is allowed to see them because I called child servises after learning that the oldest was being molested, so his ex wife is playing these stupid games and won't allow Jason (my husband) to bring the girls over to my house, I haven't seen them in over 7 months now, and it's all because the adults are being childish.  I feel hurt, upset, and used.  I can't describe it but it hurts me so bad I feel like I' m a piece of ****, I did the right thing, that is what everyone else tells me, the daugter was getting molested and now she is getting help.

        He is with the girls today and as usual I am here home, without my own car to drive and feeling totally resentful....Ahhhhhh

Sorry had to write that out, I hope you can understand all of that non sense.
Denia

Awww that *****, I can relate seems when you are down, everybody is waiting to kick you.  Drives me nuts.  Some days you just feel like giving up.