just a journal

So things have been pretty good the past two and a half weeks about I believe.  We moved out of our appartment, it was a little difficult leaving all those first memories of ours behind but everyone is probably like that.  Were staying at my moms just until our place is finished being renovated, everythings going to be brand new its going to be nice.  Im glad the moving out part was done I was pretty nervous about that.  Now that the hard part is finished, im really excited to move in now.  We have so many ideas on the place, like I want a nice garden in the backyard and since the living room is big we want to put a pool table in there.  It might take sometime though, we dont have lots of money but a little bit of saving and in some time, im sure we can do what we want.

I never thought id see the day where im not having panic attacks everyday and when I can sleep without waking during the night time hours.  The Paxil has definetly kicked in and this site has helped me alot during those hard times.  At first I didnt believe everyone saying that you just have to accept that its anxiety.  Now that I have.. id say 90%, im doing so much better and am very thankful.  I really do hope everyone in the world could get through it but I know that some people have been going through this almost there whole lives, I couldnt even begin to imagine what thats like!  My hopes and thoughts are with them each and everyday.  Before this I was a big thinker well atleast I thought I was until now, I think alot more then I used to and maybe it is a bad thing sometimes but if you can create those thoughts into happy useful ones, it goes to better use and I believe even though anxietys no fun, that its helped me in a way to become a better person and appreciate things more.  Its funny how something not life-threatning can have such an impact on a person.

Well those are my thoughts of today. - kristina