Where i am today 79/2008

Well it has been many unps and downs. I planned on getting clean like may did for a couple weeks rhen relapsd. Im right back in the thick of things. I have realized that i cant do this alone and will be going to rehab.   I live in colorado but am willing to travel to find a good one. My ideal rehab would be  one that specilizes in perscriptionz/opiates. But anyway there is alot of factors to this whole thing which i cant thpe out, if i pass out at the computer for one more night i swear im going to have permenate neck problems. The other night i fell asleap here for like 24hours. I had hopped on to myspace for a second then was supposed to go to back to my buddies. Well i woke up and the clock only said it had been 2 hours so i was like damn my neck hurts like a mofo but i feel rested for 2 hours. Well i get tomy buddies and they were hella pist off like wtf why did u ditch u yesterday. I wuz like hugh? They were like its now THURSDAY u *******, we were supposed to go tubing on WENSDAY. So yea 95mgz methadone, 8mgz Kolonipin, 6 Somas, and an 80mg oc just dont mix that well, it pretty much just knocks u out. Not really that enjoyable, well mayube if i would have had a bed to lay in. But anyway guys im at the end of my rope, i fell like this 7 year addiction is litterally killing me and im only 23, i weigh 120pounds im like 6'1, i get sick all t he time, im emotionaly a wreck and just dont know where to turn. Im very scared that if i enter a rehab in which i feel like i need 90days that it would seriously interfear with my insurance settelment from my car wreck. My docters had no idea about my addiction and would be blown away at my tollerence considering he has only been perscribing me 2 10/325 Vics a day and 2mg kolonipin. But i also know if i dont go i will soon wither away and die. I have nowhere to turn to and nobody to openly and honestly talk to. If anyone on here can reccomend any good rehabs that would be awsome and also anyone that has gone through rehab while dealing with in insurance case and if they were able to keep it from them by just having someone else just picking up your scrips like your still taking  them and usinf your visits or time away to go to your docter appointments, or just telling him your on vacation or somehing. Idk its really complicated im also in the process of switching docks, i got some trigger point injections which i have been totally against, but the pain in my neck from falling asleap at the computer was unbearable. But instead the injections just made it worse. And now he is proceeding to tell me that even though i have legitiment pain that he cant justify 2norcos a day? So im looking at finding a new docter here in colorado for a second oppinion and that wont be so scarred about the dea being up his ***. But yea i m j us t mentaly, physicaly and just drained period. Im gonna go to bed now so i dont fall asleap hear  again. So i will check this in  the morning. If u were board enough to read my post then please respond with some advice /encouragemen/something. Anyway i hope you all have a wonderfull night if u have any questions just ask if not through here then my myspace is www.myspace.com//kado420 so yea...... Goodnight everyone