Feb 23, 2010
So I guess I will start on a little history first.... I found I was pregnant via home test on Feb 1st, on the 5th I had went to the ER b/c of sharp pains in my lower right abdomen.. They ran every test you could possibly think of from std's to other things everything came back normal and fine. As a result I was sent home and just told to rest if symptoms got worse or if i started bleeding to come back. Last week I started spotting and cramping. Which was out of the blue for me since it was well passed my normal menstrual date. I decided to call the prenatal nurse who was very rude and short trying to rush me off the phone stating that its normal to spot during early pregnancy. I tried ask for reason's why other than the well known bad ones and she stated intercourse. After interrupting her while trying to say goodbye I proceeded to tell her that it could not be the case with me since I haven't had intercourse since conception. Her only answer was well its normal, and that if I want or it got worse to go to the ER but that I could not get in for my appointment until Mar 19th ... After that I was just frustrated and got off the phone. I decided not to be the one to scream wolf wait to see if things got better or worse. On the following monday (yesterday) I decided to go the ER again bc the spotting was still and I was cramping. The ER team was extremely nice and very helpful. I had my first ultrasound and got to see my tiny lima bean. Everything is good and in the right locations... No signs of tubal preg. or anything! YAY!!! However during a vaginal exam the Doc noticed my cervix has a milli cm itsy tiny bit of a hole and is not completely closed. He said I can go on to have a normal pregnancy but that there is a slight chance that this could be a bad sign. There is nothing I can do to stop it if my body decides its time, however I can take it easy and rest. So I am on quarters for the day... Its hard to sit and do nothing when you the only one who has to do everything. I've prayed about everything and I have faith that everything will be just fine, but I need to do my part and try to relax and not stress as much as possible. I took a trip down south to visit with old friends and just so happened to get pregnant that very weekend. I had a argument with the BD and it has been down hill since... Its been very hard lately b/c Mr Man is being a complete jerk saying things like he hopes me or the baby dies... he never wants to see him/her... He will never claim them and worse... I know he is just upset b/c I wont abort a hopeless and innocent child and he is just trying to say every hurtful thing he can think of hoping I will hate him enough to chose his option. However I am not as weak as he thinks! I am a great mother... Yes I am a single parent but only as a result of a divorce from an adulterous husband. I am a great mother and always made sure my daughter always had the nicest of things and never wanted or needed anything. I make more than enough to support us on our own and will ensure this baby is loved and cared for more than any child could possibly need. I know I shouldn't care what he thinks or how he feels but its hurts b/c of everything I am going thru right now. It only makes me want this child so much more and to give him (fingers crossed its a boy) so much more love and joy than any could possibly imagine.