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Pip on his Dad - funeral address

Mar 05, 2010 - 7 comments
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dad

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funeral

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writing poetry



Good evening;

I want to thank those of you who have expressed sympathy and condolence in this transitional period of my life.

My family and I are doing better than most, I believe, in accepting that dad has gone on to his new adventure.

Mom had a rough patch Tuesday night. My sister Anne and I got her (with the help of our town EMT's) to the hospital for a check-out: fatigue, stress, dehydration and a bad chest cold...she "hit the wall."

My dad passed at home, in a comfy chair with his wife and partner of almost 54 years (my mom Jean) by his side and his eldest son (me, =) a few steps away. It was an end to him not being the one taking care of others...there are no regrets.

He taught me that "woulda," "shoulda," and "coulda" are the three most toxic words in the English language.

Heck, I think think he passed on when he did to make it easier on everyone, as we were gathering for his birthday anyhow.

Here's the full eulogy I spoke at his Funeral Mass, which began 10 AM, 1 March, 2010. Even the priest (who did know my dad) thought it was good.

[One thing I did not say; my dad, Stewart, was a man of deep faith in the Holy as he saw It, which was Roman Catholic in worldview. He was devout, but he accepted (not merely tolerated) that folks, including his children, believed different. He told me and my siblings so.]

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I try to understand the world around me and do a lot of my thinking by writing poetry.

In trying to understand my dad's life as an example of a worthwhile life, I wrote the following, and a few other observations.

[Tell me, Show me...an elegy...February 2010, Steven P Robinson]

You can tell a man, but not too much,
Unless he is ready to hear.
You can show a man, but not too much,
Unless he is ready to see.

This is the way the wide world turns,
Between the skies and the waters;
That some will live their life in full,
And others will merely survive.

How does one live a worthy life,
And craft strong Fate and gain good Luck?
How does one know a worthy life,
And speak true words for common good?

It starts at birth in Family,
To parents dear, who'll raise you up,
To learn and grow, to know your Folk,
To find a way to better self.

Among the things from Kin and Kith,
Which shape the thoughts we have of world,
We gain beliefs and points of view,
Which shape the way we face each day.

And as we grow from Childhood,
To Youth, to Teen and then Adult,
We gain more thoughts from wider world,
To goad the mind, become more whole.

But roots we have from Kin and Kith,
They'll hold us fast, if we hold on,
To good, true ways with wisdom's strength,
Take care of those we know and love.

Take hold, take care, be strong, be true,
To learn and think, to speak and do,
In this we'll gain, build up good Name,
For this is heart of worthy life.

And at the end of all our years,
When we tread on that Final Walk,
And stand before our Holy Ones,
Upright and proud, as well we should.

You can tell a man, but not too much,
Unless he is ready to hear.
You can show a man, but not too much,
Unless he is ready to see.

My dad was not a survivor, he lived life in full.

He was his own man, who did right by family, friends and community.

He was proud, but not prideful.

He was private, but shared of himself.

He wanted stability, but accepted difference.

He was reserved, but trusted.

He loved words, but wasn't wordy.

He was wealthy in the things that matter most.

I am proud to be his son and did well enough to earn his pride in me.

He always seemed to have a plan, and always left on time.

Dad, thanks for stopping by...

(and as I passed his casket on the way back to my seat, I paused, placed my hand over him and said...)

So long, Old Scout, you can walk in the woods whenever you want now...

Comments
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by TrudieC, Mar 05, 2010
Pip, my heart goes out to you and your family at the loss of such a wonderful father and man.  I am glad he is no longer suffering and was able to say goodbye to those he loved.

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by swampcritter, Mar 05, 2010
Swampy wishes you peace.

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by Jade59, Mar 05, 2010
Pip, I'm not good at putting my thoughts into the written word.  I am in tears reading your journal, but they're not sad tears and I want so much to tell you the impact you have on me, but don't know how so I will just say you are one of the loveliest men (lovely in a very manly way) I have ever known.  I am again, so sorry you lost your dad and all the beautiful things you have to say about him, I see in you.  Your fathers eulogy is very moving, you truly have a speical gift about you.  

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by raquelplus2, Mar 05, 2010
my heart as well goes out to you and yoyr family. when we lost our rock of the family too(my grandpa n dad 2 me)it was 1 of the hardest things we all had 2 do. he was married 2 my grandma for 52 years as well. its hard n your dad seemed like a good man. i dont thnk nothing can really make you feel any better at this point but in time it gets easier n you accept it more. i no for years i thought my grandpa was outa town or waited for him to come home. im sorry your family hasto go through this. i wish you all the best and send my condolences to you and your family at this time.  

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by margypops, Mar 05, 2010
So Sorry Pip, wonderful moving Eulogy......

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by aheart, Mar 15, 2010
My thoughts and prayers with you, you are his legacu and he would be proud yet again.

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by Piparskeggr, Mar 27, 2010
Well, it's been 4 weeks and 2 days since dad passed on, Monday will be 4 weeks since the burial...

I think of him, and my mom, everyday.  I wear a reminder; my mom gave me the wedding band she slipped on his finger 9 June 1956.  It's a plain, narrow, white-gold ring with their initials and the date etched inside.

We are doing fine...ma said she gets down a little when she's alone in the house, but has things she wants to do and many friends to do them with...life does go on.

Thanks again for the words of support through all of this.

Take care and let the ones you love know it, now.

Pip

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