Guess you can't discuss working moms, eh?

Enchiladas sound really good.   I eat when I'm stressed and today really stressed me out.  
Nope- for some reason it's impossible for all of us to have a discussion without it turning into a free for all.

Ooh, chicken enchiladas sound delicious. Is it with red sauce or green sauce?

Is that why the post got deleted? I was wondering where it went! Now, I was behaving myself....Ahem. No name calling on this end! Did it really get to that point? Was there mud slinging going on or something? I guess I miss all the excitement! I notice it seems to happen a lot on the Maternal forum. What's up with that? Too many hormones? Lol.

You shouldn't discuss________, or ____, or ______, or _______________________, or Pandemonium will ensue!!!!

Food SEEMS safe enough, but I wouldn't guarantee anything. If you start naming recipes after political candidates, LOOK OUT! LOL!!

Hey! I've got a novel idea. Can we have a chat casserole??? My friends would really enjoy it, and it would be so convenient. :o)

That was naughty. A little embarrassing. I am a bad boy.

hahahahahaha!  Too funny!  Like Chat Stew they have on TV!

The enchiladas will have some sort of white sauce.  

Yes, there was apparently mudslinging going on.  I missed a lot of it, but did see Vsentz slinging it around.  That's probably what got it killed.

I don't know why it got deleted. At first there were a few select replies that went missing- some violated MH rules but some of them did not. And then *poof* the whole thing was gone.

Oh and I have a YUMMY chicken enchilada recipe that I need to share with you sometime.

Swampy believes that the best sauce for enchiladas is mole sauce, and although there are recipes around, getting it just right has so far been elusive.

So Swampy eats his enchiladas by going out.

Ahhh I got a little heated myself I will admit it...... I'm not sure but I don't think I broke any rules???? ahhh but attack a lady's ability to parent and I guess all of our claws come out full force.  Call me rude but why is someone without children frequenting a "maternal" forum???  HUH?  anyway the enchiladas sound better than the chicken, plain, that I had with a tablespoon of beans and a tablespoon of mac salad.  I didn't cook it.  I just ate it...... First day of work..... ahhhh

I think it was vsentz. She was VERY upset. (with good cause) But I'm just saying I think she is the reason they deleted the thread---she was VERY angry. I read it right before it was deleted and it had gotten EXTREMELY bad.
I can't say I blame vsentz at all though. I am like a wild animal when it comes to defending my children, so I completely understand her feelings when she was attacked.

i didnt get to read it but yeah, ive got some pretty sharp claws when it comes to my kiddos also...but i didnt read one word of this whole thing so, i dont know. was it something like working moms vs sahm??? ive heard that argument time and time.

Yes--it was stay at home vs. working moms. Mayflowers was very insulting and vsentz let her have it. You DO NOT insult others children.Or a womans mothering. Those two subjects will get the fur flying.

Hey peek - I hope things are okay.  Your chicken enchiladas sound yummy.  I'll have to check out the healthy cooking forum as I'm trying to watch what I eat.  Since Noah was born, I've been  bad girl.

No, working moms versus stay at home moms, very touchy! But, the original post was regarding a daycare worker giving tanker's son cereal in his bottle without her permission.  Then it got hijacked.  The digs at the working moms started and that was it.  Vsentz was ticked at got brutal, but, the posts from mayflowers that got her infuriated were already deleted when I read Vanessa's respones and by what Vanessa posted, mayflowers had crossed the line and got personal. The next thing I knew the whole thread was gone and I was glad. It was out of control and ridiculous. I have the same question, a single woman with no children, who posted "why do people have kids" anyway, is giving advice on parenting and working mothers? Why is she even on that forum?

I guess I don't understand why it is such a touchy subject.  I am a SAHM and it works well for my family.  I don't really care what anyone else thinks about it.  If I was a working Mom, and my children were in daycare, I still wouldn't care what anyone else thought about it.  I feel confident in the choice my husband and I made as far as staying home with my children.  

i think you hit the nail on the head houseofgirls - its about being happy/content with the choice you make for your life. no need to justify it for anyone else. i can understand where vsentz was coming from in the bit i read. i am a working mother and my son goes to daycare, but i wouldn't dare tell a sahm they are doing the wrong thing by their child just because i work. geez - why can't we all just get along....

Amen-girlie girl!

So much for my GWBush Burgers  or Clams a la Cheyney   = (

I missed the whole thing but based on the responses nobody ever puts down another woman's children or style of parenting.  Most of us are doing the best we can.

I thought Vanessa went way overboard, but since I didn't read May's comment, I really am not in a position to say.

I think we all do the best we can, and make the best choices that fit right for our families, our lives, and our goals.  We have to be realistic about what we can and can't do when deciding whether both parents need to work.  There are creative work situations that can allow people to work from home if needed, and flexible work hours if someone has to work outside the home.

But I'm concerned that I read from a couple of moms who stay at home "I'll just get a job if we can't make ends meet".  Ok....where?  Doing what?  Daycare is expensive and most jobs that someone might be able to find really fast are minimum wage.  That kind of job won't help as much as you think.

I just worry, that's all.  Times are hard, and aren't getting easier any time soon.

i wonder why we even care what other moms are doing? i know i do, but why? does it effect me?  does it cause me misery?  its just my beliefs on what is right (ok so i admit its right for me). i have been on both sides of the work/sahm controversy.  my son was well adjusted, didnt crave extra attention when i was home, was happy and polite and smart, but i so wanted to be home.  finances didnt allow it and you do what you have to do.  i worked in the dental field so no evening shifts there.  

now i stay home and have never been happier.  my son is loving that im there for field trips that i missed before.  always for the awards that i couldnt attend when i worked.  i was at every practice and game after school even when it was hot and i was sick from the pg hormones.  he says he would never change that bless his little heart.  when they become teens though and both parents work, that scares me, they dont have teen daycare!! that is when i was up to not one bit of good and experienced something that i should never have.  

im home with addison 24/7 and she cant be without me for one second!! doesnt want daddy, brother, nana, just me me me .  i hope that is a phase! lol

Interesting topic.  Maybe folks will get angry with me for participating because I have no children.  Much as we tried the old-fashioned way and with modern medicine, I guess I was never destined to be a mom.  I was, however, the child of a SAHM, so that is where I draw my opinion from: my personal experience.  I was born in an age when women were beginning to enter the work force in larger numbers and truly had a choice of working outside the home or working at home raising a family.  Day care wasn't exactly common, but not unheard of either.  My mother had basic secretarial skills and could have worked had she felt it necessary.  Both she and my father felt it was more important to have a parent home with we four kids.  

Looking back, I see how we all took for granted that Mom would always be there no matter what.  Every one of us felt so secure in our childhood.  Home meant Mom and Dad and love no matter what time of day we needed it.  She tells me she never saw raising us as a sacrifice.  We were her children; she was our mother; and raising us was more than a full-time occupation - one she was glad to take on.

Once the youngest child hit middle school, Mom took a job in the school cafeteria for some extra pin money.  The hours worked well so that she could see us all off to school and get home before we did.  A couple years later, she was offered a position in the school office and shortly after was secretary to the pincipal.  After my dad was transferred to Texas, she had no problem getting a very well-paid job outside the school system.  

I guess my point is that a SAHM doesn't necessarily have to 'settle' for some low-paid entry-level employment for the rest of her life once the kids are grown.  Moms and Dads both have a huge responsibility to not only their own children, but to society itself.  Well-behaved, well-educated children grow up to be responsible adults who benefit our entire culture.  My sister has four children, and finances necessitated her working outside the home for the first year of her first child's life.  She and her husband decided to lower their expectations of their standard of living in order for her to stay at home with the children during their formative years.  So what if they didn't have designer clothing?  So what if they couldn't have the latest electronic games and gadgets?  Those children got something rare and beautiful: a mom to come home to every single school day.  And their father took great pride in being able to support his family.

Yes, I know it doesn't always work out that way.  I know plenty of kids who were raised in day care centers who are great kids and now great adults.  I also know that had I been able to have children of my own, I would have given up anything to stay home with them and personally guide their development.  Guess it's just that I was raised that way, so I personally think that's the best way to raise kids.  And no, my family wasn't "rich" - far from it in fact.  My parents scraped by and managed the best they could, but lack of money and material things really didn't bother us.  We had a home, we were fed, clean and loved.  Yeah, I really had a great a childhood.  :-)

Jaybay, I really enjoyed reading your point of view.  One of the many reasons I felt it was so important to be a SAHM is because I was a latch key kid at a really young age...I believe I was around 8 when I would go home and no one was home.  Just myself and my younger brother.  By the time I was in high school, I pretty much did what ever I wanted to.  I came and went as I pleased.  My parents were divorced, and there just wasn't any supervision.  I know first hand what happens when children are left alone.  I just cannot do that to my children.  I plan on being as involved in their lives as possible.  For me, that means being here now while they are little.  When they are both in school, whatever work I may choose to do will be planned around their schedules.  I will be home when they are here.  

Having said that, I also acknowledge that financially we are able to do this.  I realize how fortunate I am in that regard.  My husband is a business owner and makes very good money.  His company is a family company, which is father started almost 40 years ago.  His mother was a SAHM, so for him it is important for me to be home with our children also.  

Of course there are people who have made comments about me being home with our children.  Everyone has an opinion.  I just know what is best for my family.  What is best for my family isn't necessarily best for someone else's family.

I'm new here, and this is my first post. I was kind of a stay at home mom, I decided to drive a school bus! I was even blessed to have the route that travels through my neighborhood, open up. Instead of having to leave at  6:35, my children didn't have to leave until 7:20(Because my route started and ended at my house, I could keep my bus at home. It was cheaper to do it that way for the county, rather than add an extra 10 miles getting it back and fortho twice a day.

I took this job, low pay and all because it enabled me to be home when my children were home...all holidays and summers! My job is more than a job, it is a calling. I have been an advocate for my students when they needed help. I listen even when they think I am not listening and hear lots of problems discussed. They don't realize it when they end up in the angel seat and begin talking to me...here is one example of being an advocate: One kindergartner kept saying he was getting green dots and now all he  got was red dots.I talked to him about it and he always lost his green dot at naptime. Had a green dot every day until nap time. I told him to hang in there, that it just took some children longer to catch on and that he would get it figured out. He said, if my dad comes to the bus this afternoon, will you tell him, I get so tired of having to stay in my bedroom. His dad didn't come to the bus that day. The next day he got on the bus and asked to sit in the angels seat ( a one seater that sits to drivers right, where we put the more mischevious children) He sat there and as we drove, I heard him talking to himself as he looked out the wondow,tears pouring down his little cheeks...."I am the dumbest kid in my class. I am so stupid, I am the stoopedist kid in my class. I was shocked . I asked him what was wrong and he said he would never get a green dot again, because he couldn't lay still at nap time. I told him that doesn't make you dumb or stupid. I told him how much the other boys and girls on the bus delighted in getting to sit with him and how personable he was and how happy he made everyone (all true, he was quite a personable child!) He seemed to feel a bit better  and ask to go sit with a friend...

The next day, I went to his principal and I told her, that there was something terribly wrong going on with my little guy and we had a discussion. Her response was that we were supposed to build their little egos up...not tear them down and that she would have a meeting with the teacher and see what could be done. That day my little guy got on the bus all nervous because the teacher was having a parent teacher conference withhis parents that night. I told him that parent teacher conferences weren't all bad...sometimes it was to help come up with ways to help a student.

The next day he got on the bus all excited, he was going to get individual green/red dots for everything he did, homework completed, attention paid in class, classwork completed, behavior, and naptime. If he had the most green dots during a day, he would get a green dot, if he had the most red dots, then he would get a red dot....may I suffice it to say that he never got a red dot again? (He doesn't even know that I intervened, in his behalf...I was afraid that his parents might be offended)

I feel that I am blessed to work outside the home and also work in the home. We had to make financial sacrifices in the beginning, but that was our choice. There were times that my children acted out, times that the working mom's kids acted out. But I do feel bad that a working mom can't be home with her children and I think in a way, she does as well. Who wouldn't want to be at home with their children...but somethimes it is just an economic no-no. I was blessed to have family members who passed really nice clothes down to my children, so we had that beat..we never ate out, unless it was a picnic. rented movies after they came out on video.

Can you imagine how hard it is for a working mom to out in 8 hours at a stressful job and then come home and have to put the dinner on the table, see that homework is done, ample playtime outside, laundry, all that we stay at home moms do...when do they ever rest. (When do any of us ever rest) So my hat is off to the stay at home mom and also the working mom, God bless them all!

Just my two cents, for a newcomer.