I am pleased with how this day went. First, I completed all 4 of my goals today. Yesterday I came up with a strategy for working on my problem with commitments and promises. You see, I commit to things people want and make promises to them in order to please them and to be liked. However, I rarely fulfill them which has the opposite effect of what I desire. I am generally seen as undependable, lying or untrustworthy. I have the best of intentions initially. (You know, the road to hell is....) So, in order to work on this problems which really is one of my main ones I decided to take the following steps everytime someone asks me to do something or before I commit to anything: (1) Stop and take 10 seconds to think about it.
(2) Ask myself, Can I do this, do I want to do this, do I have the time, money, resources to do it. Do I have anyother commitments that would prevent it. (3) look at my calendar; (4) respond with the truth, Yes I can do it because I want to and can do it or No, I am sorry but I can't do that and why.
Sometimes I also plan on doing something and tell the person that I already have done it and then don't. Does that make sense? Example: I told my friend I had dropped off a baby shower gift at her house. I hadn't even bought it yet. Good intentions without follow through caused me to lose a lot of friends and worse, feel awful about myself.
I am now working on building some kind of strategy to work on my monopolizing conversations, having to be the center of attention, having to be in charge or in control, interrupting people and not listening. Today was a good day to observe my behavior regarding this. My department put up a booth at the high school career day. Myself and two of my co-workers were in charge of giving 12 minute presentations on the day in the life of a firefighter/medic. I decided as part of my goals this morning to count how many times I did the above. It was quite often that I monopolized and interrupted my co-workers. The good news about that is that I "noticed" it. I held back several times and in the past I would not have even noticed until way later when my co-workers teased me or complained about it. So, with some success, I was able to observe this (looking in) behavior. Now, I need to develop a stategy to reduce or even prevent it. I have not been able to come up with one but I know if I keep thinking about it one will present itself.
My Moods 2010