Frustrated
Jul 16, 2008 01:59PM
- 0 comments
I'm just not doing well again. The last week has been hell for me. New stuff is going on and no where to go with it. ER won't do **** for me as I have no diagnosis and no doctor. No meds as they want to make sure there is something wrong with me and have a doctor monitor me. Ya like that is going to happen when we have just lost another doc to our area. Neuro faxed back and said that they will keep me in mind if there is a cancellation. Gee how nice of them.
I'm so angry right now. My legs are getting worse. I can barely make it to the end of the lane and back to check for mail. Half ways back my legs are so weak and I walk slower and slower that a snail could beat me. I feel like my left leg weighs a ton and have to pull it forward. It is so hot here today and humid and even though I'm hiding in the house where it is cooler it doesn't seem to be helping. The fatigue is awful and my brain feels like it is park for the most part. My speech is really slurred for a week now as well and think I'll take up drinking as then I'll have a reason to sound like this. My balance is really off today too. Pretty sure one of these times I'm just going to fall over. I've got all kinds of floaters and blurred vision in my good eye so that is now irritating the heck out of me.
What is wrong with our medical system that they are willing to let someone be like this and no care in the world that it is affecting their life. Just because I don't fit into their perfect little box then I'm cast aside and put on a waiting list. I would love for them to experience just a quarter of what is going on with me right now and see if they wouldn't put up a fuss.
I'm so tired of this ****. I think I'll donate my body to science when I pass on and then they can figure out what was wrong with me. Then they can inform the neuro and then if they see someone with the same kind of symptoms then they have something to compare it to and hopefully give that person a diagnosis so that they don't have to suffer limbo land for so long.
Well I ranted enough for now. Needed to vent. My brain hurts. Going to try a cool shower and see if that gives me any relief. Maybe be like an ostrich and stick my head in the dirt. Hiding sounds like a good idea right now.
I'm so angry right now. My legs are getting worse. I can barely make it to the end of the lane and back to check for mail. Half ways back my legs are so weak and I walk slower and slower that a snail could beat me. I feel like my left leg weighs a ton and have to pull it forward. It is so hot here today and humid and even though I'm hiding in the house where it is cooler it doesn't seem to be helping. The fatigue is awful and my brain feels like it is park for the most part. My speech is really slurred for a week now as well and think I'll take up drinking as then I'll have a reason to sound like this. My balance is really off today too. Pretty sure one of these times I'm just going to fall over. I've got all kinds of floaters and blurred vision in my good eye so that is now irritating the heck out of me.
What is wrong with our medical system that they are willing to let someone be like this and no care in the world that it is affecting their life. Just because I don't fit into their perfect little box then I'm cast aside and put on a waiting list. I would love for them to experience just a quarter of what is going on with me right now and see if they wouldn't put up a fuss.
I'm so tired of this ****. I think I'll donate my body to science when I pass on and then they can figure out what was wrong with me. Then they can inform the neuro and then if they see someone with the same kind of symptoms then they have something to compare it to and hopefully give that person a diagnosis so that they don't have to suffer limbo land for so long.
Well I ranted enough for now. Needed to vent. My brain hurts. Going to try a cool shower and see if that gives me any relief. Maybe be like an ostrich and stick my head in the dirt. Hiding sounds like a good idea right now.