and then the fight started....

  When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take hersomeplace expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station.....And then the fight started.....  ************************************************************************ After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to applyfor SocialSecurity. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver'slicenseto verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had leftmywallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to gohome andcome back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough forme'and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience attheSocial Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might havegottendisability, too' And then the fight started.....  *********************************************************************** My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,and Ikept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she satalone at anearby table. My wife asked,' Do you know her?''Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she tooktodrinking right after we split up those many years ago, and Ihear shehasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go oncelebrating that long?' And then the fight started.......  *********************************************************************** I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other drivergot outof his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and littlethingsjust seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AMNOTHAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one areyou?' And then the fight started.....