today i got my IUD out, g got fixed so i dont have to have this horrid thing in me any more...sweet! it was great the first year, but for the past 2 or so its been bad, horrible periods, irregular periods, never ending periods, i hated it and im so done having kids. so i got it out.
i actually felt the best i have in a few weeks today. was up at noon though, which pissed me off, maybe im catching up on all the sleep i missed before, idk. im really nor depressed or anything.
the lamictal is stable again, all those horrible symptoms are gone and i feel like me again, thank god! the xanax is my safety net but i want to learn how to control i=the anxiety other ways, and to be able to destress, and to relax and actually enjoy things. i still dont enjoy things because im either too stressed to relax or im wanting to contorl the situation, or have as much control as i can over the situation, and i know that keeps me from having fun, letting go and just letting things happen. i never was like that before in my younger years, but for a while i get very anxious if im not in control of things, and thats how my dad was with me and i don NOT want ton emulate him like that, esp to my kids. i want to be fun, and relaxed, and able to enjoy life and not stress and worry and be anxious about all the bad things that could happen. it *****!
also got a nice massage today, which helps, even though its medical massage, it totally helps relieve so much of the pain i have in my back and neck area. i really need those massages, and i have to take less meds because of the massage which is good for me.
all in all today my mood was pretty good, stable, and not too anxious except for the actual takig out of the IUD, but it was a weird little pain and then it was out and gone...sweet!
funny thing...my 3 yr old son was in the room when they took the IUD out, and he goes ' mommy, they took out your anchor' !!! WTF! that was so cute and funny, and it did kind of look like an anchor! omg, it was too cute! he has no clue, lol but he was a really good boy when i had my appointments. i can take him places usually with no problems, but when i have to take him and my 5 yr old daughter, its all stress and anxiety for me because they dont behave and i feel like i lose control of them in the stores or whereever, and i dont what to be 'that mom' with 'those kind of kids' that people dislike. oh well...im going to try to relax tonight, catch up with an old friend, and just relax, or try to anyway. nothing on the calander for tomorrow, thank god! i can stay in jammies all day if i want to, which is fine with me!