Day Eight

I have been to hell had the severe nightmares and came back more determined to get off the drugs. Had a hard night last night. Am trying to taper off and I have dropped my dosage by half. But the days are so long and if I get any sleep its a bonus. Now I am trying to deal with the mental stuff and I feel like I am going crazy. OMG this stuff is really from hell. I cried out to God cos he is the only one who can comfort me right now. That has given me some relief as I do beleive in God. I am now taking Neurontin to counteract the withdrawals and even though the side effects are bad. It helps you to sleep. I need to take showers and clean my act upo a bit as I am letting myself go a bit. I just cant seem to make it to the showers. People have said hot tubs help and I would like to try that , but still have to get to the bathroom and do that. I also need to clean the house too as I seem to just while away the day. If I have work on I go to to do it and then I am so exhausted I just want to die.

Its the mental side now and I need to stop using needles to inject my lower dose. The needle addiction is there too and I have to deal with thaat eventually but right now I am going to have a shower and clean the house so when my beloved partner comes home he will see a clean person on top of tings not a mess of a person.