Anxiety/Fear

Anxiety and fear have been my biggest obsticles this time .
Im wondering  have i always had  some low lying mild depression  triggering all these dependencys . Im not the only one in my family to have addicton problems it goes back generations .. But i am the first to try and do somethig about it . And thats scary for me as i have no one close to me who has been there done that. Thank god i have the love and patience of a wondarfull partner
Who is there for me no matter what. beside me all the time
Just writing this makes me feel better
Its taken me this two years to put all the people i would have used and abused with at a distance. i still get a text every so often asking me to hook up . maybe i should changd my number...
I worry now that all the lovely new clean friends i have now will find out my secret and judge me...
But im not  going to tell them till i have this thing licked
Ive never been so determined .. im finding great courage that gets stronger every day
Im under no illusions i know i will have my bad days and i know they will be very bad
But this time im going to share with people in a group like NA